Mark stepped up beside his brother and sighed, “Really?”
“SILENCE!”
The booming voice was like someone had recorded a hundred people scraping their finger nails along a chalkboard and then channeled that sound into a voice capable of forming words. Jace and Mark both winced in pain as the thing continued to speak. “You mortals dare to enter my sanctuary and defile my-“
His monologue was cut off by a blast of holy fire to the face. The lich, which Mark instantly recognized the necromancer to be, wailed in pain as it clutched at it’s charred face. “He’s a lich! Find his phylactery! It’s the only way we can kill him!”
“His what?”
Mark rolled his eyes. “It’s the vessel for his soul! It’s what makes him immortal!”
The lich was recovering from Mark’s initial strike now. The thing stood from it’s stone throne at the back of the crypt and raised it’s arms, muttering in a guttural tongue that Jace didn’t recognize. “Okay, what the hell does this philly-thingy look like?”
Mark shrugged. “It could be anything. It was something that was important to the wizard before he died.”
Jace scoffed, “Oh, well that’s just wonderful! How the hell are we supposed to find this thing if it could be anything?”
All around the crypt, stone sarcophaguses opened with thuds as their occupants pushed the lids open and begun to pull themselves out at their master’s bidding. These draugr weren’t like the one’s they had faced up until this point. They were bigger, for one. Not massively so; but Jace estimated that they were at least a head taller and more solidly built than the cannon fodder he’d hacked through earlier. Their eyes blazed with a bright, green flame, which was new. Jace swallowed past his suddenly dry throat. The situation had just gone from lazily boring to deadly serious. As a “paladin”, Jace wasn’t as magically gifted as his brother, but even he could feel the power radiating from the lich and it’s minions. Jace did a quick head count. There were at least ten of them, but for all he knew there could be dozens of more in the room, waiting to be summoned back.
“Uh, Mark? Are we in trouble? Because I feel like we may be in trouble.”
Mark leveled his wand at the nearest uber-draugr and let fly another blast of holy fire. The blast caught the thing full in the chest, and while it clearly hurt the creature, it didn’t cause it to instantly vaporize like the weaker draugr had. “Yeah, man. I think we may be in trouble.”
The lich laughed and Jace felt like his ears were being raped.
“Jesus! I wish that thing would shut up!”
The draugr nearest Jace got into striking range and brought it’s broadsword down at his head. Jace brought his shield up, and there was a bright flash as the old sword clashed against the holy enchantment placed into the shield’s face. The feedback from the holy shield caused the draugr to stumble backwards, dazed, which gave Jace a perfect opening to slash at it with his sword, which was now blazing a brilliant white. The sword hummed as it cut through the air and white-blue flame spewed from the wound as Jace’s sword cleaved through the draugr’s shoulder and down into it’s chest. With a bellow, Jace followed up with the edge of his shield, catching the draugr in it’s neck and decapitating it with another bout of holy flame. He let the momentum of his swing turn his body into spin, allowing the blade to pull free of the now-fallen draugr and arc around, catching the sword of another that had been trying to flank Jace on the right. Apparently, the weapons and armor of these uber-draugr got an upgrade as well, because the draugr’s sword met Jace’s enchanted blade gamely, and didn’t shatter as Jace had expected it to.
“Okie dokie. I guess playtime is officially over.”
The draugr pulled back his sword and swung. Jace caught it on his shield, knocked the blade aside, decapitated the draugr, and sent a kick into it’s midsection. The now-headless body stumbled back into two other draugr that were rushing towards Jace from behind it. In unison, the two new challengers contemptuously batted the headless body of their fallen brethren aside and both swung at Jace from opposite directions. He blocked the one on his left with his shield, and the one on his right with his sword, but that left him wide open for the third draugr he hadn’t seen to lunge from between them and stab at Jace’s chest. The enchantments on his armor howled as it resisted the blade, but the force of the blow sent Jace stumbling backwards. His heel caught on something and he fell back onto his ass with a clang. Air rushed from his lungs in a woosh, and the draugr relentlessly pressed their advantage.
“SHIT!”
Well, that’s what he thought. What came out was just a panicked wheeze. Electricity arced from Jace’s left and caught that draugr in it’s side just as it was lifting it’s sword to split Jace’shead like a melon. The electricity enveloped the undead warrior and arced to the other two standing next to it, forming a circuit and setting all three zombies to jerking spasmodically as Mark pumped more energy into the spell and kept the juice flowing.
Jace quickly dropped his sword from his hands and pulled his shield from the straps on his left arm. With a mumbled word of power, his shield erupted in holy light, and with a grunt he hurled it at the draugr nearest him. The holy shield smacked the closest draugr in it’s head, rebounded off, hit a stone sarcophagus, rebounded, met the next zombie in line, and then bounced into the third. Each head that met the shield promptly exploded in holy light, and the headless torso’s dropped to the ground, smoking. Jace lost sight of where the shield ended up after that, and he didn’t have time to try and find it. He used the temporary reprieve to haul his heavy armor-ladened ass off of the ground and brandish his blade once more.
Two more draugr were shambling towards him with determination. Mark was similarly occupied. As Jace watched, Mark began to chant and rotate his hands as though he were rolling a snowball. Holy power swirled and gathered between his palms, as Mark summoned the energy to him and crafted it into the spell. Jace knew what Mark was doing and he needed time to pull it off. Mark had a couple of draugr that were getting far too close for comfort. Jace didn’t have much available to him in the ranged weapon department. Desperate, he went for a hail mary. Jace quickly sheathed his sword as he bent down and hefted a decent sized chunk of stone that had shattered from one of the sarcophaguses when his shield had struck it. Concentrating, Jace blessed the stone, channeling as much energy into the spell as he could quickly muster, and in response the stone began to take on a yellow glow. With a muttered prayer to no god in particular, which was ironic for a “paladin”, Jace hurled the stone with a grunt. On contact with the draugr the stone exploded like a holy hand grenade, and when the flash cleared both draugr were gone.
That was great for Mark, but it didn’t do anything for the two very pissed off draugr now within striking distance of Jace. He managed to rip his sword from its sheath just in time to parry a strike from the first undead warrior. “Mark, whatever you’re doing over there, hurry it up!”
Mark’s muttered words were gaining in speed and volume as the ball of energy between his hands continued to grow. He was close, but Jace was about to be swarmed, as three additional draugr were heading his way to join the two already doing their best to kill him. Jace parried another swipe from the right-hand draugr, channeled as much energy as he could spare into his holy sword, and struck- not at either of the draugr directly in front of him, but the stone directly between them. For a brief moment what looked like a yellow-gold hologram of a massive war hammer outlined his sword and then the weapon made contact with the stone floor. The smite spell went off like a bomb, instantly dissolving the two uber-draugr in it’s holy light and ragdolling the trailing three across the room to disappear into the darkness, smoke trailing in their wake. Exhaustion flooded over Jace, and he dropped to one knee, huffing like he’d just run a marathon.
To his left, Mark’s chanting reached a fevered pitch and the ball of energy between Mark’s hands shone like a star. There was a brief moment where it felt like all of reality took a breath, like all of the air was sucked from the room, all sound vanished. There was only the Lich, and the spell in Mark’s hands. Then Mark screamed, shoving his hands forward, palms meeting at the wrists, and a blinding white-gold torrent of energy exploded towards the Lich.
The Lich hadn’t been idol. While Jace had been playing Whack-A-Mole with the draugr, and Mark had been doing his anime power-up routine, the Lich had been charging his own spell. The torrent of holy energy slammed into a sudden dome of inky black energy that started a good two feet in front of the Lich. Mark screamed as he pushed the spell, trying to overwhelm the Lich’s shield. It was a contest between Wizards. Which was more powerful? Jace didn’t know, and really didn’t want to find out. While they were having their magical dick measuring contest, Jace took the opportunity to down his last energy potion and get his ass in gear. Even if Mark managed to overwhelm the shield and hit the Lich with that massive spell, he said it wouldn’t mean diddly-squat if they haven’t destroyed that phily-thingy yet, and Jace still had no fucking clue what he was looking for.
On the bright side, Jace did find his shield buried in the side of a coffin as he ran in the Lich’s direction. He yanked it free with a whoop of joy, and used it’s edge to gingerly poke at the magical dome that was protecting the Lich. As he hoped, the Lich’s shield was designed to stop magical energies, not physical objects. Jace stepped across the threshold of the shield and grimaced.
It felt…icky.
The energy had a dark, sickly feel to it that felt spiritually greasy and turned his stomach. Luckily, the feeling passed as soon as he was through. The Lich saw him, his lime green eyes glowing with power, and narrowing as he approached. Unfortunately for him, there wasn’t much he could do without fucking up his concentration and letting Mark’s spell through. Jace grinned and waved, then continued his search of the stone throne and its surrounding area. The Lich screeched in rage. It was painful as hell, but Jace couldn’t let it distract him.
There!
Behind the throne, wedged between the stone back and the wall, was an hour glass. The sands glowed the same green as the Lich’s eyes. The sands were suspended mid-fall, as though time had stopped. Well, Jace could fix that. He hefted his sword, and the Lich screamed again. Then there was an explosion of light and sound and Jace lost complete track of what the fuck was going on for a few seconds. When his vision started to focus and the ringing in his ears went from being a roar to just really irritating, Jace realized what had happened. The Lich had dropped the shield. The Lich’s body had been thrown into the throne, it’s right leg draped over the throne’s arm, it’s head bent at an unnatural angle and hanging from the seat. The whole thing was blackened and smoking, like he’d been barbequed. It wasn’t moving.
Jace blinked. “Huh. Did we just win?”
Mark was on all fours, panting, completely spent form the magical effort he’d just exerted. He slowly managed to lift his head and admire his work. “It…looks….like…it…”
He paused to gulp at air for a few more seconds and catch his breath. “Where was the phylactery?”
Jace motioned with his sword. “It’s this weird hourglass that’s wedged behind this throne.”
Mark’s eyes widened in sudden terror. “You didn’t destroy it?!”
Jace’s response was cut off by a bolt of lightning to the chest. Electricity played over the metal of his armor and sent his entire body into spasms. He bellowed in pain and dropped to the ground, writhing in agony as the Lich rose from it’s throne and chuckled. It’s body still looked like a rotisserie chicken that had been left on the spit for a week, but even as Mark watched the torched undead skin flaked away, revealing smooth pale skin beneath it. The Lich’s thin grey lips peeled back in a yellow smile that was all tooth as it pumped more energy into the lightning spell. Jace couldn’t even scream. His mouth was stuck open in a soundless wail as his body jerked spasmodically with each pulse of electric power.
Mark scrambled for the pouch around his shoulder and silently offered up a prayer to whatever may be listening that he hadn’t run out of energy potions, otherwise he and his brother were boned. Relief flooded over him as his fingers wrapped around the cool glass vial. He yanked it from his pack and ripped the cork out with his teeth. The potion felt warm as it ran down his throat, like the smoothest, sweetest liquor you could ever drink. Mark felt a radiant smile spread over his face. He couldn’t help it. He always felt this way whenever he felt magic. Even after a decade, it never got old. The feeling of energy was almost euphoric. Mark brandished his wand, the runes along it’s shaft glowing with blue light as the energy flowed through it, focusing his intention and channeling it until the energy leapt from the tip of the wand and lashed towards the Lich.
Mark wasn’t trying to hurt the Lich, just break it’s concentration so that Jace would have a chance to recover. The spell had been one of pure force, and the Lich was knocked ass over tea kettle when the mass of raw energy collided into him. The lightning spell instantly cut off, and Jace groaned in relief. Mark leapt to his feet and pressed his attack, trying to keep the Lich’s attention. He cut loose with his own lightning spell, which made contact with the Lich just as it was trying to pull itself back to it’s feet. The Lich was good. It lifted a hand, fingers splayed, and the Lich caught the lightning on a magical dome that reflected it back at it’s caster. Mark yelped in surprise and leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding being bolted by his own spell.
It took a few moments for Jace to get control of his limbs back. His body felt completely spent and it was a struggle to move. He was out of energy potions.
Fuck.
Jace grunted as he forced his body to crawl, ever so slowly and painfully, towards the Lich’s throne. It was only a few feet away, but with how Jace was feeling, it might as well have been miles. “I am so over this Dungeons and Dragons bullshit…”
The rest of the crypt looked like a fireworks show as Mark and the Lich continued to trade magical blows. Mark was good. Really good. Over the last decade he’d grown to be quite the magical powerhouse. More than once, Mark had shocked his older brother with some of the crazy shit he’d managed to pull off; but Jace knew that his brother had to be getting close to magically empty. That energy potion he downed was only going to go so far. Time wasn’t on their side.
Jace and Mark had lived through four Cycles now. Close to thirty years had passed in the real world. In all that time, neither of them had died yet. Jace wondered how it would feel. Would everything just go black? Would he dream? What if the program messed up and he never woke up again? Jace shook away the thought. Fuck that. He didn’t want to find out. There had to be a way out of this.
He continued to ignore the exhaustion and pain, pushing to drag himself ever closer to the Lich’s phylactery; willing himself to go faster, to get there in time to save both of their lives. His little brother was counting on him. Besides, this was ridiculous! They’d beaten nastier shit than this stupid Lich! Hell, just a month before they’d slayed a fucking dragon! A massive, fire breathing, human chomping, princess stealing dragon! The princess had even awarded them-
“God dammit, I’m a fucking moron!”
Jace reached under his breastplate and pulled out the medallion he wore on a leather cord around his neck. With a yank he pulled the necklace free. The medallion was gold with the face of an owl stamped into it. Jace lifted the medallion to his lips and muttered the activation phrase. “I summon you now to fulfill your oath.”
He flicked the medallion towards the throne. It bounced off with the same ringing cling that any metal coin would make when it strikes stone, and then…
Nothing.
“Oh, for fucks sake! Come on!”
There was a flash and suddenly there was a massive owlbear blinking stupidly down at Jace from next to the throne. An owlbear is exactly what it sounds like- a creature with the body of a bear and the head of an owl. Nasty things. Super aggressive. This one was just a one-time-use construct, but it was still impressive and pants-shittingly terrifying up close. Mark and the Lich both paused in their magical showdown to glance over at the owlbear and just stare for a second; the Lich in shock, Mark in glee.
Mark pumped his fist in the air. “Fuck yes!”
Jace grinned as he pointed at the phylactery and shouted, “I command you to destroy that hourglass!”
With a weird hoot-growl, the owlbear moved to comply as the Lich screeched in terror and protest and hurled a dark ball of energy at it. Too late. The owlbear already had the hourglass in it’s massive…paws? With a screech, it crushed the thing in a single squeeze. There was a shockwave of sickly green energy and the Lich howled in pain and rage as the green flames of his eyes faded and the now-mortal wizard fell to his knees.
This time when he spoke, it sounded like a man who’d smoked three packs a day and was far less ear rapey. “You fools! What have you done?!”
Mark smirked. “We just won.”
Jace leveled a finger at the Wizard-Formerly-Known-As-Lich and threw him his best Harrison Ford lopsided grin. “Owly. Kill him.”
With a hoot-screech, some screaming, and a very disturbing final scene of carnage, it was over.
Authentic Entertainment 