Tag Archives: superheroes

Release the Counter Monkeys!

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Our own Shawn Skvarna is with Jesse Arnold at the Baltimore Comic Con to launch Counter Monkey Comics! Jesse is unveiling the first two issues of his new comic Sock Drawer, while Shawn will be signing prints and copies of our books. The first print is the “Authentic Print” and it’s a tribute to our friend Mark Ruelius. Part of the proceeds from the print will be donated to the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation in Mark’s name.

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If you cant make it to the con you can purchase a copy of the print here. The second print is a Con exclusive character poster for Failsafe, which is the comic that Shawn and I are working on.

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Prints will be available for sale in our online store after the con. If you’re in the Baltimore area and are planning on going to the con, be sure to drop in on Shawn and Jesse!

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Authentic Print Now Available

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This is one of three prints by Shawn Skvarna that will be available this year at the Baltimore Comic Con on September 7th and 8th, but you can purchase a copy now in our Society6 store.

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Support Our Comic Monkeys!

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Shawn has updated the Counter Monkey Comics kickstarter page with a look at one of the many great things you can expect from them at the Baltimore Comic Con launch this year. This is a beautiful print that I’ve had as my desktop background on both my PC and my iPhone for a few weeks now. For those who may not be in the know, Counter Monkey Comics is the comic brand that my partner in crime Shawn Skvarna is launching with his childhood friend, and another talented artist, Jesse Arnold. The comic that Shawn and I are doing, Failsafe, will launch under this brand, as will whatever other crazy things we happen to come up with after that. Please take a few moments and check out their Kickstarter page and the goal bundles. There’s a lot of cool stuff there and the campaign only has 5 days left. One of the bundles they’re offering is the Authentic Bundle. In that bundle you’ll get all 5 of our books in paperback and autographed by both myself and Shawn, who did all the cover artwork. I’ll even go one step further, even though it’s not listed on the page, and I’ll personalize the autograph as well for those who choose that bundle. So please, take a few moments and check it out. Any support you could give would be awesome.

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All Kindle Editions $0.99!

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We’ve decided to keep our sale prices as the permanent prices for the Kindle Editions for all our books, so from now on all Kindle e-books will be $0.99. We’re hoping this helps encourage people to pick them up and spread the word. The paperback prices will remain the same simply because of the cost of production- they’re already about as cheap as I can make them. If you’d like to visit our book page where you can find descriptions and samples of all our novels click here or on the picture of the book covers just above.

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Independance Day Sale: All Kindle Editions of Books $0.99!

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From Tuesday 7/02/13 until Monday 7/08/13 all of the Kindle editions of our novels will be just $0.99! Now is the time to pick up any that you might have missed!Just click on the covers or links below to purchase!

1. Down With The Thickness: Viewing The World From a Fat Guy’s Perspective

Genre: Non-Fiction Autobiography

Description: Regardless of body type, there are experiences that we all, as human beings, share and sometimes the key to overcoming the more difficult of those experiences is to look at things from a fresh point of view, with humor, or even to realize that there are other people out there that have been there and survived. I’ve dealt with depression, suicide, and being a morbidly obese guy living in a world about two or three sizes smaller than me. The following book is my perspective and opinions on things like life, relationships, and religion. I don’t profess to have all the answers, I just hope that someone somewhere out there might read this and be touched in some way.

Preview: Sample Chapter

Purchase: Click here for Paperback, Click here for Kindle.

2. You Only Die Twice (An Authentic Clay Colt Adventure#1)

Genre: Urban Sci-Fi/Detective

Description: Clay Colt and his partner Evelyn Wood are private investigators that sometimes have to do less-than-legal things to make ends meet. All that changes the day they see Clay’s dead Kharta’an friend tearing apart downtown Buenos Aries on the news. That dead friend was the son of the Executor of the Kharta’an Empire, the greatest warriors in the galaxy, and to the Kharta’an desecration of the dead is considered an act of war. Someone is using technology to reanimate the dead and Clay, as the the Kharta’an’s chosen agent, has just 48 hours to uncover the truth and find those responsible in order to prevent an intergalactic war where Earth will be ground zero.

Preview: Sample Chapter

Purchase: Click here for Paperback; Click here for Kindle

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3. The Chosen: Rebirthing Part 1 (The Chronicles of Enoch #1)

Genre: Contemporary Fantasy

Description: There has been a war raging between Heaven and Hell for the fate of all creation, and the forces of Heaven are losing ground. The Enemy has discovered something that may tip the balance of the war in their favor, and now it’s up to Jude, the absentee leader of the warrior-priesthood known as the Chosen, and his new trainee Paul, to rally the disjointed forces of Heaven on Earth and find the source of this new threat. If they fail, it will mean that the forces of Hell will be free to run rampant across the Earth, ultimately leading to Armageddon and the end of all things. In the war between Heaven and Hell heroes are not made… they’re Chosen.

Preview: Sample Chapters

Purchase: Click here for a Kindle; Click here for Paperback

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4. The Chosen: Rebirthing Part 2 (The Chronicles of Enoch #2)

Genre: Contemporary Fantasy

There is a traitor in the ranks, and unless Jude, leader of the Chosen, can find and stop them, they could tear the already-fractured forces of Heaven apart from the inside. Meanwhile, Paul has accepted Jude’s training but he quickly comes to question whether he’ll survive it. His concern is only magnified by Mary’s prophetic dreams, which are growing more intense and seem to focus on Paul, but could they hold the key to stopping the cultists? Armageddon is at hand, and if Jude and Paul don’t learn to work together and stop the cultist rituals from taking place it could mean the end for us all. In the war between Heaven and Hell heroes are not made…they’re Chosen.

Purchase: Click here for Kindle; Click here for Paperback

justsuperfont4. Just Super

Genre: Contemporary Fantasy

Description: There is something very different and very special about Keith Green- he has “super powers.” Keith Green also has only six months to live because those powers are slowly killing him. This is the story that reporter Sam Daylin is hired to chronicle, as Keith spends the last six months of his life trying to use his powers to help people and change the world as the its first “superhero”. However, the more that  his illness begins to affect him, the more erratic Keith begins to act. The world’s first superhero could become the world’s greatest threat, and Sam Daylin may be the only person who is in a position to stop him.

Preview: Sample: Chapter 1, Sample: Chapter 5

Purchase: Click here for Kindle;  Click here for a paperback.

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Rant Alert: Man of Steel- A Spoiler Free Review

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Full disclosure: I wasn’t always a fan of Superman. As a kid, of course, I loved him. I’d watch the Reeve/Donner movies, and later the Bruce Timm animated series, and run around the house with a cape (usually a towel or blanket) around my neck. But as I got older and started getting into comics I just didn’t care for Superman as a character. I still loved the idea of him, but in execution I felt that he was bland. He was too powerful, too goodie-goodie, too perfect. He was the Gandhi, and in many cases, the Jesus, of DC comics, and when good stories revolve around conflict and you have a character who is perfection personified, that’s often a big problem. It’s one of the reasons why DC still has a hard time getting the character right in his own series.

That all changed while I was working on my first novel with my best friend, Mark Ruelius. He was a HUGE Superman fan, and when he heard my opinion on the character is was as though I had personally offended him. He made me promise to read three comic book trades: Kingdom Come by Mark Waid & Alex Ross (which I already owned and loved), Superman Birthright by Mark Waid and Leinil Francis Yu, and Superman: Secret Identity by Kurt Busiek and Stuart Immonen. He was right. After that, I was a fan. This made Superman Returns all the more painful for all of us, because we were hoping to get a Superman movie as good as what Batman was getting with Nolan or the Marvel movies were getting on the other side of the fence. Instead we got… well, I’m not going to go into that. This isn’t a review of that movie. So let’s just get into Man of Steel.

For me, this was a great foundation to build a untied DC cinematic universe on. This was DC’s Iron Man, in that way. Just about every aspect of the movie is inspired by the various Superman comics, Birthright being a heavy influence in particular. But there are a few things you need to know going in to help manage expectations (and I promise, no spoilers):

  1. This isn’t a Chris Reeve/Richard Donner Superman. The tone is different. There’s no comic relief character. There’s no goofy gags. This has been the biggest criticism most “negative reviews” have and I think it’s because those people are going in expecting a Donner or Marvel tone. It does have some humor and moments that’ll make you smile. MoS isn’t “dark and gritty” either, any more so than any of the best Superman comics are. Just about everything, event-wise, in MoS has precedent in the comics and animated movies.
  2. Again, this isn’t a Marvel movie. Marvel’s movies have a certain tone, just as their comics do. They’ve always been different than DC, and this movie is no exception. If you go in expecting a superhero movie with the same tone (lighthearted is probably too strong a word) then you’ll be disappointed. MoS takes itself, and the character, seriously. Again, it’s not The Dark Knight serious. This isn’t emo Superman, but they do approach the material and character in a serious, mature way- as they should. The movie is still a ton of fun, and I immediately wanted to watch it again, just as I did with Avengers or Iron Man. It’s just a different kind of fun/tone.
  3. This goes with the tone, but yes, it feels more like a sci-fi movie than a “superhero” movie. I think that’s a good thing in this case, given the story. That said, the movie ends perfectly and we have the Superman/Clark Kent we’re wanting to see. This has the potential to set up an amazing sequel the way that Batman Begins set up The Dark Knight.

This is very much Clark’s story, and the focus is on him discovering who he is and what his place in the world is. Henry Cavill nails the part and is by far the best embodiment of the character since Chris Reeve. Amy Adams also does an amazing job as Lois Lane. I have to say I was really impressed with how they handled Lois. She was smart, strong, and important to the plot without just being the damsel in distress. They also did away with a typical trope that has long since been played out and done to death (thank God for that), which makes me even more excited to see how they evolve the relationship between Lois and Clark. Some people may take issue with how they portray Jonathan Kent, but I think it was a great way to approach the character, and it made one scene in particular have that much more of an impact on Clark and how he makes the decisions he does.

I want to address Mark Waid’s review of the movie (caution, massive movie spoilers in the link ). As you can tell from my opening above, Mark Waid has written, in my opinion, some of the best Superman stories, and Birthright in particular was an influence on MoS. Waid wasn’t very happy with the movie for two reasons, one of which is a spoiler so I won’t go into it, other than to say that the way it was handled was VERY well done (and even Waid admitted as much) and that, yes, it’s not anything that hasn’t already done before in the comics and other movies, albeit not very often.

The other, and biggest, complaint that Waid had was he said that this version of Superman felt cold and that he didn’t care enough about protecting humans, given all the “destruction porn”. I will say there were times when I felt similar while watching, and it is one aspect that they could have handled better. Superman does go out of his way to help save people in the movie, but I would agree it needed to be emphasized more, and is probably the biggest weakness the movie has, especially given all the destruction and collateral damage that takes place. Again, it’s nothing that hasn’t been shown in the comics and animated tales countless times. This very much feels like a comic book come to life (or a live action version of a Bruce Timm animated feature); but because it is so realistic and lifelike it makes thinking about the innocent people being hurt that much more, where you don’t as much in the comics or animated features (or where it’s easier for them to just magically have people survive or evacuate in time, etc.) It’s something that needs to be improved upon in sequels, but it was far from a deal-breaker for me.

For me, Man of Steel is the best DC movie to date, and this is coming from a die-hard Batman fan. I’m not saying that Man of Steel is a technically superior movie than The Dark Knight, but for me it’s certainly more fun to watch. This is the Superman movie we’ve been waiting for, and it can only get better from here. Keep an open mind and don’t let the negative reviews keep you from checking it out. Go and see the movie for yourself and judge it by it’s own merits. I think you’ll be glad that you did, as it is, by-far, the best movie so far this summer.
I give it a 9/10.

J.R. Broadwater is the author of the non-fiction book Down with the Thickness: Viewing the World From a Fat Guy’s Perspective, the sci-fi detective novel You Only Die Twice, the fantasy novel The Chosen: Rebirthing Part 1-, and the superhero tale Just Super, all available now in digital and paperback formats. Sample chapters and more information about these books can be found here.  Check back each Saturday for a new chapter in the ongoing serial Moving On!

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Rant Alert: Marvel Heroes Overview

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Marvel Heroes is a game I’ve been anticipating for quite a while now, both because it’s a Marvel game and because it is completely free to play. Yep, that’s right. Marvel Heroes is 100% free to download and play from beginning to end. It is also possible to unlock every hero and a vast majority of the costumes and other items for free in-game through loot drops. We’ll talk about that in more detail in a moment. MH is a game by David Brevik, the mind behind Diablo and Diablo II…maybe you’ve heard of them. Marvel Heroes is basically what you get when Diablo II and Marvel Ultimate Alliance have a love child and the results are…mostly great.

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MH plays just like Diablo and Torchlight (they’ve often said that Marvel Heroes is the spiritual successor to Diablo II). Point and click, kill and loot. If you don’t like those types of games or that type of gameplay, you probably won’t like this one either. As of right now keyboard and mouse/click and loot is the only gameplay/control type the devs plan on having available.

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The heroes are all well represented, and having played the game for a few months before launch as a beta tester, I can tell you that a lot of time and effort went into trying to make each hero work and play the way you would expect them to.  The powers are all pretty much like the powers that were in the Ultimate Alliance games. Each hero will have three trees with a specific focus, and each time your character levels up you’re given two points to spend in skills however you like. Many skills will have a synergy, which means putting points into one will have a direct impact on another. This generally works well, as it allows you to spend points in basic skills early without feeling like those points were “wasted” later.

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There are currently 20 heroes available with an additional 5 (Human Torch, Luke Cage, Emma Frost, Squirrel Girl, & Nova) set to be available “soon”. Everyone has a choice of 5 characters to start with- Daredevil, Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, Storm, and Thing. Not exactly A-Tier characters, but I can tell you from experience that they are all fun to play and can be just as powerful ( and in some cases more so) as the better known or popular characters. After the prologue/tutorial mission everyone will get another of the starting heroes as a random drop. You’ll get a third after defeating Dr. Doom in the Chapter 8 finale, for a total of 3 free characters. All of the other characters (and most of the stuff you can buy in the store, including potions and costumes) are available through loot drops. They are, however, very rare, though there are several things you can do to increase your chances (taken from what has been said on the forums and confirmed by devs):

  1. Equip gear that gives you a +% Special Item chance
  2. The first boss you defeat each day (20 hour timer) has a natural higher drop % to drop a hero or costume. There’s always a chance for a hero drop on mobs, chests, and other bosses, but the chances are higher for that first boss of the day.
  3. Characters that have a lot of rested time (ones you haven’t used in a while) also have a higher chance of getting a rare/hero drop.
  4. % of Hero and Costume drops go up “significantly” after you’ve played through all 8 chapters of the story, during endgame content.

For me, a lot of the fun is the chance that you may get a “special” drop, but if there are some characters you just can’t wait to play you can always purchase them in the store for “G”s. G’s are Gazillion’s special currency, and the exchange rate is basically $1=100 Gs. If you buy in the higher packages of G’s you’re given a little extra as a bonus. The heroes are priced along tiers- 600 Gs ($6), 900 Gs ($9), 1200 G ($12), and 2000 G ($20). Only three characters currently cost 2000Gs- Spider-Man, Deadpool, & Iron Man. The costumes can be a bit pricy as well, as they range from 900Gs-2000Gs. Or you can gamble with 100Gs and buy a ticket, which could be a costume, potion, pet, a 100% XP or Rare boost, or a “rare special”.

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Now, Gazillion has been taking a lot of flack on the forums and game sites for their admittedly expensive pricing. However, I feel that there are a few things that need to be kept in mind before freaking out about it:

  1. The game is completely free to play. You aren’t gimped or restricted from game play content by not paying money.
  2. All of the heroes and 99% of everything else is available, for free, as drops in the game.
  3. The game is completely free. I know I already said that once, but apparently it needs to be emphasized for the self-entitled, hard headed people. These games take tons of money to produce and keep running. They have staff they have to pay. They have to make their money somehow, people. No one is forcing you to spend a dime. If you REALLY want to play as Spidey but you think $20 is too expensive to unlock him (and I would agree) play the game with someone else and try all the things above to increase your chances of getting him as a drop, or wait for an inevitable sale (a month ago they were selling “founders packs” that included specific characters and all their costumes, or groups of characters with an additional costume, for $20-$50 depending on the package you chose), or for the prices to drop- which they will as they add more content.

All in all, Marvel Heroes is a lot of fun to play and can become a huge time-sync. It’s not perfect, and they’re still working out some kinks and refining things, just like most MMOs do just after launch, but for the bargain price of free, you’re not out anything giving it a try.

J.R. Broadwater is the author of the non-fiction book Down with the Thickness: Viewing the World From a Fat Guy’s Perspective, the sci-fi detective novel You Only Die Twice, the fantasy novel The Chosen: Rebirthing Part 1-, and the superhero tale Just Super, all available now in digital and paperback formats. Sample chapters and more information about these books can be found here.  Check back each Saturday for a new chapter in the ongoing serial Moving On!

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Failsafe Character Sketches

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Here’s the first batch of character sketches for our new comic Failsafe, just to whet your appetite a bit. This is the main cast how they’ll look at the beginning of the story (as of right now). These are basically concept sketches, so things could change between now and the first issue, but odds are good this is pretty much how the finished product will look. Shawn talks a bit about the comic in the kickstarter video he and Jessie did. Be sure to check it out.

Mark and Evyn (Evy, for short) are twins. They’re also the children of former superheroes (though they don’t know that at first).

Mark is a former marine and is now a nurse. He cares a lot about people and wants to help where he can, sometimes to the detriment of himself. Personality-wise he’s like a combination of Clark Kent and Peter Parker.

Evyn is strong, intelligent, and in many ways becomes the unofficial leader of the group. She’s also a very talented artist but struggles with self confidence.

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Copyright © J.R. Broadwater & Shawn Skvarna 2012-2013

All rights reserved

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Announcement: The “Holy Crap, We Need Exposure” Sale! All Digital Books $0.99!

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Yes that’s right! We need to get our name out there! Starting Monday (4/15/13) through Sunday (4/21/13) all digital copies of our books will be $0.99! So for all you procrastinators out there (and judging by our books sales, that means most of you) now is the perfect time to try out a book or three…or four. Please help spread the word! Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell that weird guy giving you the stink-eye on the metro! This sale will last for this week only!

Don’t forget, those who purchase Just Super have a chance to participate in our Just Super Sweepstakes! Entries are due by May 3rd!

You can read descriptions, preview chapters, and find links for all of our books here.

Don’t own a Kindle? No problem! The Kindle App is a free download for all smartphones, tablets, and computers (PC and Apple).

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Filed under Clay Colt, Down With The Thickness, Just Super, Novels, The Chosen: Rebirthing

Another Just Super Preview Chapter

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Hello everyone. Just thought I’d give you a late Easter treat with another preview chapter from my new novel Just Super, now available for Kindle or in paperback. Hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 5: Dress for Success

Remember about six years ago? Some jackass dressed up in red spandex with a pair of goggles and called himself the…”

“The Masked Avenger?”

*Laughter*

Yeah, right, the Masked Avenger. Not the most original of names, but then again anyone who would do what that schmuck did doesn’t have too much going for him in the upstairs department, right? Anyway, he made the news because he stopped a bank robbery out in L.A.

“Yeah, I remember hearing about that on the wire. I was overseas at the time. He kept them busy until the cops could get there or something, right?”

Right. Unfortunately for him he also stopped three bullets with his chest and ended up eating nothing but soup and pudding for six months. Of course this was after he was charged with vigilantism and public endangerment. Apparently the judge felt sorry for him and figured his medical bills were punishment enough and let him off with a warning. I hear he’s the janitor for his old high school now. That’s really my biggest fear about this whole thing, Sam. I’m not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of failing.”

– Excerpt from transcripts of the audio interview between Keith Green A.K.A. Justice and Sam Daylin on October 2nd, 2016.

***

Keith had already showered and changed clothes by the time we got to the apartment, and was still toweling off his hair as we walked in the door. “About time. What were you doing, forty the whole way?”

Jenn stuck a tongue out at him. “Not all of us can move at the speed of sound.” She gestured at the towel around his neck as she laid her purse down on the counter. “Though most of us do dry off before getting dressed.”

“Yeah, yeah. So we ready for this little pow-wow or what?”

I stayed quiet and took a seat on one of the bar stools as Jenn and Keith sat down on the sofa. I took out my trusty little recorder and hit the button as she began to tick off points.

“Okay, here’s what we know so far. One, your powers are telekinetic, like I suspected. Two, just like any muscle you’re going to have to practice and work up your endurance and concentration, especially when it comes to doing more than one thing at once.”

“Yeah, we found that out the hard way.” Keith glanced up in my direction but I didn’t detect any malice behind the look.

Jenn nodded. “Right, which brings me to my next point: I think we need to talk about your costume.”

Keith shook his head as he stood up and headed for the coffee pot. “I’m not wearing a costume. We’ve talked about this already. I refuse to look like some retard at a convention.”

Jenn draped her left arm over the back of the couch as she turned to face him. “I don’t mean a cape and spandex, but I do think we need to have some sort of body armor. Something that’ll protect you. Even with practice I don’t think it’d be safe for you to rely just on your abilities for protection. Besides, you told me you’ll need some sort of eye protection for when you’re flying anyway and I don’t think diving goggles is the fashion statement you want to make to strike fear into the hearts of criminals everywhere.”

I spoke up from my little place off to the side. “Not only that, but you’re going to want to wear something that’ll help conceal your identity. I mean, for legal reasons alone, you’re not going to want anyone to know who you are.”

Keith seemed to consider that a moment as he stirred his coffee, then nodded. “Okay, I can see what you mean. Any suggestions?”

I nodded. “I’ve got a guy I know- one of my informants. He’s something of a collector when it comes to guns and stuff like that. He’s like one of those militant rednecks you see on T.V. that’ll barricade themselves in compounds to keep out ‘the man’. The guy’s totally nuts, but mostly harmless. He may have some stuff we could look at that’d offer you some protection. Used military and police equipment, that sort of thing.”

Jenn smirked. “What happened to ‘I’m just an observer’?”

I shrugged. “There’s no story if wonder boy goes and gets killed his first time out.”

Keith held up his coffee mug like he was toasting. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Jenn got on her knees and leaned over the back of the sofa. “Speaking of which, what’s the plan? After you practice a bit and we find you a costume, what next?”

I hopped up from my stool and headed for my room. “I think I can help there, too. Just a sec.”

I emerged a minute later with a journalist’s best friend. Keith smirked and walked over to get a closer look as I laid it on the counter and plugged it in. “A police scanner. Nice.”

I grinned like a proud poppa. “A journalist’s bread and butter.”

Jenn walked over and joined us. She was biting at one of her finger nails, like she always did when she was anxious. “Isn’t monitoring the police band illegal?“

I snickered. “So’s vigilantism.”

She smirked and ran her hands along the top of the scanner, wiping away at the thin layer of dust. “Point. So what, we just listen to the police band then Keith jumps out the window and saves the day?”

“Why not?”

Keith smiled and clapped me on the back again. “I like it. Maybe you aren’t a complete pain in the ass after all.”

I grimaced but decided to hold back the wise-assed comment I had ready to fire. Instead I said, “Well, I’m heading to bed. I’ll swing by Gimpy’s place tomorrow and see what he’s got.”

Jenn looked up quizzically, barely restraining a laugh. “Gimpy?”

I waved it away. “Don’t ask. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

I retired to my little closet of a room and did my best to try and sleep, but memories of a past I thought was long behind me flooded my mind and made that impossible. Instead, I tossed and turned, trying to occupy my mind with other thoughts but always coming back to the same thing: Jenn.

I had known as soon as Keith mentioned her name that if I got involved I’d have to face a lot of things I’d tried to bury with time and distance. At the time it had been easy for me to write it off as something that wouldn’t be that big a deal. Then I saw her and that all went out the window.

Now it was like I was twenty-three again, before I stepped on that plane and left the best thing I’d ever known behind. Like then, this had all started out about a job, but this time I was going to make the right choice. I made a silent promise that I would do anything I could to help Keith in his mission. Not because I believed in him and what he was trying to do, but because I believed in her and what was important to her. I knew I was being given a second chance and I wasn’t going to pass it up.

It wasn’t just a job anymore. I wasn’t just an observer. I’d become a participant.

I snorted into my pillow. “Well, so much for objectivity.”

I rolled over and closed my eyes. Sleep claimed me instantly.

***

It took me a few weeks but I was finally able to set up a time when I could meet up with Gimpy and see about a super suit. Richard “Gimpy” Melvin lived in a trailer park out in West Memphis. He was nicknamed Gimpy because of the bum knee he’d acquired running from the cops a few years back. He’d tried to jump a fence, only to discover as he was falling down the other side that there was a ten foot drop which ended in solid concrete. Pop went the weasel.

True to the stereotypical image that living in a trailer park brings to mind, Gimpy took pride in dressing like a complete hillbilly: long, dingy hair of an unquantifiable color; scruffy beard; straw cowboy hat; wife-beater complete with unidentifiable stains that had started out in life white but was now closer to grey; blue jeans covered in tears and oil spots with the ends of the legs worn down to strings of cloth, which only accentuated the SpongeBob flip flops he wore. Yep, Gimpy was all class.

He was also well connected.

In addition to his little black market for military and police surplus, Gimpy ran one of the biggest gambling rings in the south. As such, he was a veritable fountain of information. When you hear the phrase “word on the street,” they’re talking about Gimpy. He’d been an invaluable resource for me in the past, but this trip I was there to tap into his other talents.

“Body armor, huh? Ya going back out on the front lines, or did‘ja write an article that someone honoree out there might not like? Heheeee!”

His laugh was like a donkey braying on helium. I smiled and shook my head. “No, nothing like that. I thought I’d try my hand at fiction in my spare time. I’m writing a book about a S.W.A.T. team. Thought I’d pick up some gear as research props. You know, get dressed up, see how it feels, that sort of thing. I figured you’d be the man to see.”

He slapped me hard on the back and laughed again. “Heheee! Ya got that right, buddy! Step inna my office and we’ll see if we can’t set ya up proper.”

His “office” was a dilapidated barn that sat on the back of his property. It looked that way on the outside, anyway. On the inside it was like a Best Buy for the militant redneck circuit. The walls and ceiling had been reinforced and gleamed like new, and each section was neatly labeled and displayed. I half expected to hear muzak playing gently in the background. Guns, ammo, combat gear, if Rambo wanted it, he could find it at Gimpy’s. I let out a whistle.

“Heheeee! It’s a beut, ain’t it?  My pride’n’joy, right here. Now ya said you wanted S.W.A.T. gear?”

I nodded.

He thought for a second, stroking absently at his ragged beard until he suddenly snapped his fingers, grinned like an idiot, and pointed a grease-stained finger in a general direction. “I got jus the thang! Came in last week. Wait here and I’ll fetch it fer ya.”

He sauntered off and disappeared in the forest of hardware, and I silently prayed that the place wouldn’t get raided while I waited. About five minutes later Gimpy came back into view pushing an old shopping cart filled with stuff. He smiled at me and I tried not to stare at the gaps in his grill. “Had an ex-cop come through here last week. Dropped twenty large at the tables and came up short. Used to be Memphis S.W.A.T. but was forced to go on disability when he got his hand blown off by a midget pimp. Heheeeee!”

He pointed down at the cart. “Gave me all his old stuff fer credit. Yer welcome to whatever’s here.”

I reached down into the cart and started shifting through what I saw there. There was a jumpsuit and combat vest like you see on T.V.; a helmet complete with a full visor; combat boots; even built in comm gear. “Wow, this is great, Gimp. How much?”

“Fer you Sammy? Take it.”

I arched an eyebrow. “What?”

He shook his head. “You’ve been good to me over the years, boy. Helped me out when times were rough. Now I’m prosperin’ better than a grizzly in a fish market! Heheeee! I figger this is the least I can do fer ya. Just mention me in yer book and we’ll call it even.”

I smiled and offered him my hand, which he took. “Deal.”

***

Back at the apartment it was like Christmas in a militant compound as Keith and Jenn went through the box of swag I’d procured. Jenn giggled excitedly. “Wow, Sam. This is great!”

Keith grunted as he held up the tactical vest. “What’s with this on the back? Justice?”

Jenn walked over and looked. “It’s on the front too, see?”

I glanced over and shrugged. “Must’ve been the name of the cop that owned it last. Kind of an ironic name, isn’t it?”

Jenn chuckled. “Well, I’m sure I can take it off or cover it up.”

Keith stared at it for a second then shook his head. “No, it’s okay. Having a name on the back will help me to look more like a cop. I’ll be able to blend when I need to.”

I snorted. “Well, anywhere that’s gone to hell enough that S.W.A.T. gets called in, anyway.”

He nodded absently as he dug deeper into the pile. “Hey, you got the communication gear too?”

“Yep.” I reached down into my laptop bag and pulled out two tactical walkie-talkies. “Got these for me and Jenn, too. This way we can keep in contact while you’re out on missions. Gimp said we’ll just have to be careful about the frequency we use and what we say. Anyone with the right gear will be able to listen in if they find the right channel.”

Keith nodded and put the gear back down in the pile. “Right. Good thinking.”

Jenn pulled on the helmet and snapped down the visor. She looked like a little kid dressing up for Halloween. “This should work for when you’re flying!”

I laughed. “Wow, you’re really getting into this, aren’t you?”

She yanked off the helmet and had a horrendous case of hat hair. She ran her hands through it a few times in an attempt to get it under control, and was only half-successful. “Sure! This stuff is kinda cool. I mean, you see it on T.V. and in the movies all the time. It’s fun to be able to actually play around with it.”

Keith grabbed the helmet and stuck it on top of the pile, then hefted the box. “Well, I’m going to go try this stuff on. See how it fits. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Once he was gone Jenn walked over and gave me a hug. “I really appreciate you doing this. You’re being a huge help. I don’t know what he would’ve done without you.”

I pulled her back enough to where I could look her in the eye and lowered my voice to a sultry whisper. “I’m not doing it for him.”

I pulled her close and kissed her. She tried half-heartedly to pull away at first, but then she melted into my arms and started to kiss me back and it was as though time had never past. Cue sweeping music. After a few seconds we broke the embrace, breathing heavily, and she took a few steps back. “Sam, I-“

I held up a hand. “I know. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I should have let you know a long time ago.”

Just then Keith walked back out into the living room and struck a heroic pose, with both hands on his hips. Talk about being saved by the bell. “Well, how do I look?”

Jenn’s gaze lingered on mine for a second before she turned around and smiled at him. “You look great! Looks like everything really fits!”

I had to admit he did look impressive, like something straight out of an action movie, and if I didn’t know better I’d swear he was the real deal. In the last few years, due to the increase in gang violence and terrorist threats, police gear had been upgraded to improve protection and thus, the life expectancy of the officers. The outfit itself was all black, naturally, though rather than just having a bullet-proof vest all the material was made in a bullet resistant mesh.  It was still relatively light-weight and had good mobility, but it’d also stop all but the most persistent debris and shrapnel and most small caliber bullets, even at close range. The vest itself was even more resistant: double reinforced so that even hollow-point bullets, commonly referred to on the streets as “cop killers,” wouldn’t penetrate. The gloves were made of a less resistant but more flexible version of the mesh, and the boots were steel tipped with an anti-slip grip on the bottom. The helmet was the most impressive, however. It was black and domed with a solid visor that not only protected the eyes but the whole face. The visor itself was mirrored, which was a bit disconcerting to anyone looking into it, which I assumed was the point. It was equipped with a H.U.D. that registered targets, helped with navigation, and, though I failed to mention it to Keith just yet, broadcasted a live data stream that was simultaneously recorded to a hard drive. Not all the innovations were for just police protection. Jenn and I would be able to see and hear everything that went on while Keith was in his masked persona.

Keith spread out his hands and did a slow turn as though he were a fashion model. His voice came out a bit distorted behind the visor. “Not bad, huh? This helmet is freakin’ sweet!”

Jenn grimaced. “It’s a little scary. You look like a bad guy from a sci-fi movie.”

Keith shrugged, but the gesture was muted a bit by the suit. “I don’t think that’s really a bad thing. Strike fear into the hearts of criminals and all that. Besides, this’ll be great for when I’m flying! It’s got a zoom function, digital readouts and targeting. Hell, I even see a little icon for gas and smoke protection!”

I nodded. “Gimpy said it has a built in filter, so it’ll give you some protection during fires or with some gasses, but it’s not a license to thrill. It’s not like you have your own oxygen supply or anything so don’t go Superman on us and think you can walk into anything and be okay. “

He waved a hand at me dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. I get it. Don’t be such a kill joy. I can’t wait to go flying with this thing on.”

Jenn threw an arm over his shoulder. “Well, you’ll get your chance tonight, flyboy. Now that you’ve got your costume we’re going to have to hit the practicing hard.”

Keith gave a little mock-salute. “Aye aye, cap’n. Hey Sammy, how am I supposed to talk to you guys with this thing?”

“Stick out your tongue. There should be a little switch you can click on and off… though I’d wait and sanitize the thing first before you try.”

Keith reached up and pulled the helmet off. “Yeah, good point.”

He glanced inside and pointed. “There it is. That’s gonna be a little weird.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

He nodded and shifted the helmet under his arm. “Well, I’m going to go take this stuff off. No sense in getting it all gunked up before tonight. You guys up for getting some pizza?”

“Fine with me. Jenn?”

She shot me a devilish smirk. “I’ve got some stuff I’ve got to do at the office, so you boys can go and have fun. Get in a little bonding time.”

I tried to keep the sarcasm from my voice. “Great. Guys night out.”

Keith didn’t look any happier. “Yeah, I’ll go get dressed.”

Jenn walked over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “It won’t be that bad. I bet you two will find out you’ve got a lot in common. It’ll be good for you.”

I reached in my pocket for a cigarette and gave her my best reassuring smile as I resisted rolling my eyes. “Yeah. Great.”

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