Tag Archives: Novels

by | April 10, 2024 · 3:11 pm

The Thick Man

thickman

One night my friend Mark and I were joking around and he said that I should write a fictional book based on my real life, with me as the main character. I told him that was the most ridiculous idea that I’d ever heard; but we started joking about it and throwing around ideas and by the end of the conversation it became a “thing”. We spent the last couple of months of Mark’s life kicking around ideas and plot points for this silly book that would be a comedic homage to The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett- a favorite of both of ours. Unfortunately Mark passed away before we could get much farther than a list of notes, gags, and funny lines. A couple of years after his death I finally decided to try and write the thing. It was a lot of fun. I had a blast writing it. My test readers enjoyed reading it. The problem was it was shy of being novel length, adding anything to it to hit the word count I needed just felt like padding and didn’t work for the story, and it’s incredibly difficult to sell a novella as a (traditionally) unpublished author. So it’s sat collecting metaphorical dust for a few years now. Well, I’ve taken a break from writing since getting married, and I’ve been trying to work my way back into giving it another go. I thought a good way to do that would be to finally put this out there for people to read. So here you go, I present to you The Thick Man. I hope you enjoy it.

Blurb:
When down on his luck private investigator, Nicholas Taft, is asked by his best friend, homicide detective Nora Charleston, to help with a high-profile murder investigation, he figured it was just another badly needed paycheck and a chance to help a friend. He never dreamed that he’d end up stuck in the middle of a turf war between the mob and local gangs with a price on his head so large that it sends every hitman, gangbanger, and opportunistic hood in Saint Louis after him.
Nick Taft isn’t a traditional literary hero. Born with a medical condition where his body fails to produce testosterone, Nick weighs over five hundred pounds and has numerous medical issues, not the least of which is a bum knee that requires the use of a cane. Coming from a long line of cops and lawyers, Nick feels the need to follow in the family tradition, and after a few failed attempts at various criminal justice careers, Nick’s unique perspective and quick wit earn him some notoriety as a private investigator. When several recently released ex-cons are graphically murdered, the media sensation that it creates puts pressure on the police to solve the case quickly. Nick is brought in as a consultant, and through the course of the investigation, Nick and Nora discovers that someone is using ex-cons as ambassadors to unite all of the gangs in Saint Louis. After dodging kidnapping attempts and the interests of the local mob boss, Nick and Nora have to find out who is behind this new drug organization before it gets them both killed… and maybe solve that pesky murder case in the process. The Thick Man is a homage to the noir classic The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett, with a blend of comedy and drama similar in style to the hit television show Castle starring Nathan Fillion.

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by | April 9, 2024 · 8:50 am

4. The Gig

“This is so fucking cool!”

For the fifth time in as many minutes, Jace brushed back his black leather duster and drew his sidearm in one fluid motion, quick as an eye blink. He twirled the pistol a few times before expertly holstering it as part of the final spin. He grinned up at his brother and spread his hands, as though to say “ta-da!”

Mark couldn’t help but smile at his older brother’s childlike enthusiasm. Mark had been the same way at the beginning of the last Cycle, and Jace had gamely let him have his fun. He decided to return the favor. “That’s awesome, man!” 

Jace was the Captain of the ship, and had chosen “gunslinger” as his skill set. As such, he’d spent the last hour exploring the Lonestar and practicing gun tricks. Mark, on the other hand, had volunteered to be the pilot. While the core skills for the occupations they had chosen were something that A.I.D.A. uploaded, for lack of a better description, at the beginning of a Cycle, there was still a lot for Mark to learn about the ship and how things worked before he’d really be very effective at his job. The folks that programed the Cycle, and by extension A.I.D.A., weren’t much for hand holding. Jace guessed they figured that the Colony Members had all the time in the world. Why make things too easy on them?

The Lonestar was an old converted freighter that looked like a brick with wings slapped on it’s side. It wasn’t very pretty, but it was functional. From what Mark could gather, it was pretty middle of the road as far as speed went, but it’d been modified with a decent set of armaments and defenses, so they could probably hold their own in a fight if it came to it. Knowing Jace, it most assuredly would, and he’d want to have the ship customized and upgraded as soon as they could afford it. His brother may at times seem wealth-oriented, but Mark knew it wasn’t out of a sense of greed or the need to have the best of everything. Jace had spent their entire childhood fending for them to survive. As a result, his brother couldn’t help but focus on amassing resources as quickly as possible at the start of each new Cycle. Jace was like a squirrel always perpetually preparing for winter, and couldn’t even begin to relax until he was sure he and his brother had more than enough, both financially and in firepower. Jace was the guy with the plan. The big picture guy. Mark had always been his right hand and the one that kept his brother grounded. It’d worked for them. They survived when so many others that they’d known hadn’t.

Like their parents. 

Mark returned his attention to memorizing the ship’s schematics. The Lonestar had enough private quarters to house five crew members, though at the moment there was only the two of them. He and Jace would need to talk about whether they wanted to try to hire any sims as crew, or if they’d do their usual thing and just keep it the two of them. There was also a cargo hold that had been converted into a prisoner transport area. Ten individual force cages lined the walls. At the center was an airtight security station. In an emergency, one or all of the cells could be vented into the cold vacuum of space, while the crew member at the security station would be protected. Mark shivered at the thought. Brutal, but effective. He hoped he’d never need to use it. 

The panel next to him started to beep.

Jace’s head popped up from over Mark’s shoulder and he pointed at the flashing indicator light. “What’s that flashing?”

Mark scratched at his head. “Communications.”

Jace dramatically leveled a finger at the console and bellowed, “On screen!”

Mark snorted. “Jesus, you’re going to be insufferable, aren’t you?”

He grinned. “Reap the whirlwind, wizard nerd.”

Mark rolled his eyes and hit the indicated button. The screen on the co-pilot’s side of the cockpit sprang to life, replacing the field of stars with an image of a middle aged human male, with pasty white skin, a bright orange handlebar moustache, and thin grey-red hair haloing a massive bald spot. He was enthusiastically puffing at what looked like a fat brown cigar, the front cherrying orange-red with each inhale. Identifying information scrolled across the bottom of the screen in mustard yellow:

Name: Manny Mans

Occupation: Fixer/Bail Bondsman

Relationship Status: Working Allies- Five Years

Mark glanced up at his brother and then gestured at the screen. Jace took the hint and repositioned so that Manny could see him better. “Manny! Long time. What can we do for you?”

Manny blew out a huge billow of smoke and then flashed a Cheshire smile that was all yellowed teeth. “Boys! I’m glad I got ahold of you before you jumped system! Got a job. Big one. She’s a difficult case, and I need the best. So, I asked myself, I says, ‘Manny? When you need the best, you know who you need to call?’ And I replied, ‘Yer goddam right I do! I need to call the Reynolds Brothers!’ I says to myself, ‘When you need a tough job done right, that’s who you call!'”

Jace blinked. “Wow, you said a lot. To yourself. Thanks, I guess? Who’s the quarry?”

Manny pushed a button and his image was replaced with another. This one was a grainy shot clearly taken from some kind of security footage. It was a zoomed in head shot of a young human woman, maybe late twenties to early thirties. What was left of her hair was bright purple and styled in a pointy mohawk. She also had a few silver rings in her nose, ears, lips, and probably a few other places that Jace couldn’t see. There were also what looked like black and red tattoo’s snaking up her throat in a weave pattern, but the image was zoomed too tight for Jace to really tell what it might be. Jace wasn’t normally into the whole punk chick aesthetic, but the woman in the image was definitely making it work for her. 

“She calls herself Kayla Blaze. She’s wanted for theft in three systems. Got a bounty on her head of twenty kay. There’s a ten thou bonus if you bring her in alive.” He chuckled, and it sounded like a walrus grunt-fucking. Jace tried not to laugh at the mental image. “She musta really pissed the wrong people off to have a bounty that high just for theft. Bad for her, good for us, eh boys?! Ha! Anywhos, one of my feelers just sent word that she was spotted out just a short skip from where you are, at Port Orion. Thought maybe you could take a look before she blows in the wind. If you bag her, I get my standard twenty percent finder’s. Sending you the deets now. Just watch yer asses, ‘kay? Word is she’s a bad bitch. Already took out a few hunters on her trail. Did ’em messy. Don’t let the looks fool ya, eh? Think with the right head.” He looked knowingly at Jace and gestured with his cigar when he said that last, and Jace felt personally attacked. “Happy hunting, boys.”

The screen winked out and Mark scoffed, “Charming guy. Definitely seems to know you pretty well.”

“Har, har.”

Mark’s console beeped again and a file popped up on his monitor. “Uh, yeah, I got the location. Port Orion. Marked as a ‘Free Trade Space Station,’ whatever that means. According to this, known as a stop off for rowdy types- pirates, smugglers, scoundrel’s. Provides fuel, gambling, and ‘entertainment’.”

Jace smacked his hands together and started to rub vigorously. “Hell, yes! My kind of place!” 

Mark punched a few more buttons. “Oh, thank God this navigation system is nothing complicated! Looks like I can just click the link he sent and the autonav will automatically set the coordinates and take us there when I engage the drive.”

“Make it so, Number One! Engage!”

“Dude, you have got to stop.”

Mark keyed the skip drive and space ahead of them seemed to warp and bend. There was a bright flash and then a massive asteroid was right in front of them. Mark blinked. No, it wasn’t an asteroid. Well, it was. Or had been, anyway. Structures had clearly been built into the surface, and now ships came and went, swarming all around it like knats.

Jace gasped behind him. “Well, that was trippy. What the hell happened?”

“I used the skip drive. According to the brief you should have read, in this Cycle faster-than-light travel is achieved by using ‘skip drives’ that somehow warp and bend space around the ship, instantly moving it from one place to another, as long as that place is near a ‘skip beacon’. Don’t ask me how the hell that even works, because I understand fuck-all right now.”

“Fair enough. I guess take us in close and see if we can find a parking spot? Do we need to hail a tower and request landing or something?”

Mark glared up at his brother. “Do I look like A.I.D.A.? How the hell should I know?”

“You’ve been doing your nerd thing and reading the whole time we’ve been here!”

“Dude, it’s been a fucking hour! Unfortunately, I can’t just directly download everything straight into my brain.”

Jace held up both hands in supplication. “Okay, okay! Sorry. I’m just excited is all. Take your time to figure out what you need to figure out.”

“Thank you.”

Jace was silent for a few breaths, and then he muttered, “Just saying, sooner would be better. We don’t want to lose h-“

As nut taps go, it wasn’t the hardest that Mark had ever given his brother. Still, it got the message across and Jace shut the fuck up. Mark was skimming the parts of their brief he hadn’t gotten to yet, hoping some of this basic stuff might be outlined, when he was spared the further need by someone from Port Orion hailing them.

“Lonestar, you planning on landing or just enjoying the view?”

The voice was gruff, but sounded like it was probably a female. Mark keyed the comm. It was voice only, thank God. He didn’t know if he could handle a face full of weird alien right then. “Uh, yeah Orion. There a place you want us to go, or…”

“Bloody hell, Mark! You act like you’ve never been here before! Land in Bay Four and fuck off down to see me. I may have a job for you and that jackass of a brother you fly with. Don’t keep me waiting. Bertrude, out.”

Mark blinked. “I guess Bertrude wants us to land in Bay Four and ‘fuck off’ to see her.”

“I guess so,” Jace wheezed.  

Mark grabbed the control yoke and eased the ship towards where Dock Four was indicated on his nav screen. Once again, he was amazed at how easily skills came to him that he had no practical experience using. He’d never piloted anything in his life, much less a starship; yet he almost instinctually knew what to do, as though he’d been flying his ship for decades. Easy as breathing. Not for the first time, Mark silently wished he could learn other things that way. Maybe that was the point of doing the Colony this way? At this rate, by the time the Colony is released from hypersleep, the Members would have lived so many lives that they’d be natural experts on all kinds of things. Probably intentional, he decided. He knew the reasoning was that a human brain in hypersleep long term without stimulation tends to drive the host insane. Why just kill a single bird when you could hit a couple with one stone?

Jace’s head appeared over his shoulder once again, only this time he was decidedly less rambunctious. “So, was there anything in the brief that you saw that mentioned this Bertrude?”

“She’s the administrator of Port Orion. She’s also something of a minor crime boss. Port Orion is known for being the Mos Eisley of this area of space.”

Jace did his best Kenobi impression. “You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.”

Mark leveled a finger at him and winked. “Ex-actly. That said, according to the brief, we’ve worked for her in the past…both officially and under the books. It didn’t give any more details than that.”

Jace grunted. “So odds are, she really does have a job for us. Whether it’ll be above board or not is up in the air.”

“Odds are.”

Jace brightened. “Great! We’ll go see what Bertrude wants and maybe score another gig. She may even be able to point us to where we might run into that Kayla chick, too. If Bertrude is the head honcho, there’s no way she isn’t aware that someone with a bounty on her head is running around.”

Mark arched an eyebrow up at him. “Why are you so gung-ho all of a sudden? We just popped into this Cycle and you’ve already got us diving in the deep end before we’ve learned to swim.”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Well, little brother, while you’ve been reading the brief, I’ve been looking into other important factors. Stuff like what our bank account looks like. How much food and fuel we have. You know, stuff that’ll directly keep us alive for the immediate future; and it ain’t looking great. A.I.D.A. has us coasting in on fumes; and unless there’s some secret credit account that was listed in the brief where we’ve got shit stored away, the Reynolds Brothers weren’t exactly killing it recently. I don’t think we’ll have enough to refuel.”

Mark sighed. “God dammit. Why do they always start us off in the shit every Cycle?”

Jace shrugged. “Maybe because we tethered our accounts? I know the eggheads really didn’t like us doing that.”

“Maybe…” He shook his head. “Or, maybe it’s just because if you have to scramble to survive right out of the gate, you don’t have time to think about things. It kinda forces you to live in the life right away.”

“You can say that again.” There was a slight jolt as Mark set the Lonestar down in the hanger. Jace gripped his brother’s shoulder. “For the first time ever landing, that was a great job, man. I know Bertrude said to not keep her waiting, but take a few more minutes to finish skimming the brief while I get our shit together. I’d rather not walk into any surprises we could have known ahead of time about.”

“Right.”

Ten minutes later, the two brothers met at the exit hatch. Jace handed Mark a black vest. “Put this on under your jacket.”

Mark shrugged out of his brown leather jacket, pulled the vest over his head, and used the Velcro straps to secure it into place. “Bulletproof vest?”

Jace nodded. “We have a gun cabinet in the cargo hold that apparently serves as our armory. There were a bunch of different types of guns and these vests. Figured better to have them and not need them…”

“Right.” 

Next, Jace handed over what looked like a sci-fi version of a sawed off shotgun. “Here. You’re a shitty shot-“

“Fuck you.”

“-but with this you don’t need to be Annie Oakley. Just point, click, and you’re good. Range is probably going to be shit, so best to only use it when you’re too close to miss. Oh, and make sure to brace yourself when you fire. I’d assume it’ll kick like a mule until it proves otherwise.”

Mark worked the pump and loaded a round with a satisfying cha-chick. “Got it. Hopefully we won’t need to worry about it.”

Jace snorted. “Yeah, because that’s how our lives usually work.”

As the hatch opened a ramp extended, allowing the brothers to exit the ship to the deck below. There were a few other ships parked in the bay, mostly personal short distance craft the size of bi-planes. The two brothers couldn’t help but take a moment to gawk at the scene beyond the magconfield that held in the atmosphere, their mouths agape. According to the information that was available in the ships databanks, Port Orion was originally a mining station, and was built within a giant asteroid belt that had been located near the Orion nebula. Those asteroids were, apparently, rich in elements that were highly sought after; so much so that the entire field was mined to practically nothing within a century. It still had an amazing view of the nebula though, so Bertrude bought it and converted it into the waypoint for ne’er-do-wells it was today. 

Mark’s voice was barely audible. “That is the most amazingly beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen.”

Jace could just dumbly nod in agreement. 

They stood like that for a few minutes, until Jace snapped out of his daze and nudged his brother. “Come on, we should get moving. After the jobs are done we’ll take the ship and just sight see for a bit.”

As they started to walk Jace gripped his brother by the shoulders and side hugged him. “Can you believe we’re in fucking space!? God, I’ve waited my whole life for this!”

Mark couldn’t help but once again grin at his brother’s enthusiasm. He hadn’t seen him this way since they were little kids, before the war. “I know man. You finally get to live out your Han Solo fantasy.”

Jace playfully ruffled his hair. “And I couldn’t do it without you, Chewie! Now, let’s go see what Jabba wants.” 

As it turned out, the Star Wars metaphor was pretty apt. The station was bustling with humans and various alien species that looked like something taken straight from George Lucas’ dome. There seemed to be beings of every shape, size, and configuration that could be imagined. A lot looked like humanoid versions of animals found on Earth. Mark saw a few lizard people; some obviously humanized beavers, which was disturbing; cat people; wolf people; bird people, and so on. There were also the more alien designs, with skin tones in weird colors and body part arrangements that were just weird or off. 

From next to him Jace whistled, “Wow, they really went buck-wild on the creativity for some of these.”

“No kidding. I wonder where… oh! There’s a sign. Administrator’s office is that way.”

Mark pointed and Jace grunted. “I’ll never get over having shit downloaded into my head. Like that sign is obviously not in English. It’s some weird script that they call ‘galactic standard’, and the fact that I inherently know that and can read it is both really cool and really unsettling.”

Mark was about to reply when he was suddenly shouldered aside by a massive alien that looked like he was a cross between a mountain and a walrus. The thing spun and barble-grunted in an an obviously angry tone. Whatever language the thing was speaking hadn’t been one that A.I.D.A. uploaded, but Jace knew a bully when he saw one. He also knew that overt aggression was pretty universal in getting a point across. His gun was out of it’s holster and tucked under the thing’s… chin, before it could finish it’s threat.

“You should be more careful, friend. Someone could get hurt. Now, I suggest you apologize to my brother and move the fuck on.” 

He emphasized that last with the click of his gun’s hammer cocking. The alien’s eyes bulged and it nodded very slowly. Message received. It mumbled something and then hurried off down the corridor. Jace waited for it to disappear into the crowd before holstering his weapon and offering his brother a hand up.

Mark grunted. “Look at you, being all diplomatic.”

“Yeah, I’m a galactic Kissinger.”

“Who?”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Nevermind. Let’s get moving.”

The boys managed to weave their way to Bertrude’s office without further diplomatic incidents, and was stopped by two beefy guards in matching leather outfits, cheerless dispositions, and automatic weapons. Mark nervously looked to his older brother, who shrugged and took a step forward with a smile. 

“Heya, boys! Bertrude told us to fuck off up to see her, so we’ve fucked off directly here. Mind if we go in?”

The two guards shared a glance, with expressions that read to Mark as they’d prefer to rip the brother’s heads off and then use them as toilets. Instead, the one on the left grunted and hit a button next to the door. The door wooshed open and Bertrude’s voice bellowed from beyond, “Well, fuck off in here already!”

Mark nervously sidled between the two guards, who clearly had no intention of moving at all. Jace rolled his eyes and pushed his way past in a show of bravado that made Mark proud. While it appeared that Jace had no fucks to give, in reality he was about to piss himself. He figured they wouldn’t want to piss off their boss by fucking with the guy that she clearly and urgently wanted to see. His gamble was rewarded when the guards hurled curses and growls at his back, but not bullets. 

Bertrude’s office was large and painted piss yellow. It was not a stylistic choice that Jace would have gone with, but there’s no arguing taste. That said, the impressive collection of weapons from all over the galaxy that completely covered the walls and were displayed in cases surrounding the room distracted from the poor color choice. The only other furniture in the room was a black desk that took up the entire north wall and two metal chairs in front of it. From behind the massive desk stood Bertrude, who was easily as intimidating as the office that she owned. She stood at least seven feet tall, with a wide, muscular frame to match. She also had four, three fingered arms, like Goro from Mortal Kombat, and massive tusks the grew from her lower jaw like a warthog.  

She spread her four arms wide and bellowed, “Finally! Boys! Get in here! You took your sweet ass time getting here, and we didn’t have much to begin with!”

If Jace was put off by Bertrude’s appearance, he didn’t show it. He did his best Han Solo impression and spread his hands with a smile. “Bertrude! We got here as soon as we could! What’s the big rush?”

“I got a gig that needs doing, and since you two owe me, you’re gonna be the ones that do it.”

Jace blinked, but took it in stride. “Okay, what’s the gig?”

Bertrude reached under her desk and pressed a button, and a door designed to blend into the wall slide aside and a woman stepped into the office. 

A very familiar woman.

“Boys, this is Kayla Blaze, and you’re going to smuggle her off of Orion.”

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by | April 2, 2024 · 6:29 pm

3. Reboot

Mark crouched down next to the corpse of the Litch to retrieve the quest item. He’d barely needed to tug at the ring and the finger all but disintegrated, followed a second later by the rest of the corpse. Mark hopped up and spun away, trying desperately not to get a mouth full of Litch dust. It looked like a plain gold ring to Jace, but that wasn’t his concern. As long as the jackass that sent them on this damn errand paid them. They’d finished the quest and they had well earned some good ‘ole rest and relaxation. Gold coins paid for that R and R. Rinse and repeat. For ten years. The cycle within the Cycle. 

They left Owly the owlbear to gleefully enjoy his meal of the corpses that had fallen, once again lifeless, to the crypt floor once the Litch’s power was cut off. The construct would dispel after an hour, so he wasn’t likely to hurt anything. The crypt was pretty out of the way, and it was unlikely even an owlbear could make it to any nearby towns before the one hour timer ran out. Jace figured that Owly had more than earned a bit of fun with the time he had… if constructs really felt anything at all. Or sims, for that matter. 

Well, technically, wasn’t he just a sim now, too? A sim fueled and controlled by his consciousness? Jace shook his head. That philosophical shit gave him migraines. It made him think and Jace didn’t like to think. It’s not that Jace was dumb. Far from it. The problem was when Jace started thinking, his mental health started nosediving. Thinking about his current situation inevitably lead to thinking about the War, the Colony, what he, and the thousands of other Colony Members, were expected to do when the Cycles end and they go back to the real world. 

The final Cycle.

Jace slapped his younger brother on the back, causing the smaller man to woof. “Okay, quest complete! We’re both exhausted and we’re all out of go-go juice. Let’s splurge and use a portcrystal back to town.”

Normally, the frugal Mark would argue, but he could tell that Jace was running on fumes, both energetically and emotionally. Jace had grown more restless and depressed in the recent months. That’d always tended to happen when they’d been in a particular Cycle for a prolonged period. There was no way to know for sure when the current Cycle would end, so it was best to try and make the most of it. “Yeah, good idea. In the state we’re in a band of halfling children could kick our asses.”

With a grin, Jace reached into the Sack-of-Holding at Mark’s shoulder. In his mind he pictured a portcrystal, and a second later he could feel the cold smoothness of the gem on the palm of his hand. The portcrystal was a shard of purple crystal about the length of a railroad spike. Jace held it out in front of him, and Mark reached out to grip the shard as well, placing his hand below his brother’s. Jace pictured the alleyway just behind the Inn back in town and sent a tendril of energy down his arm and into the portcrystal. There was a bright flash of purple light and the cold, dankness of the crypt was instantly replaced by a warm summer breeze and the sounds of birds chirping. The crystal shard in their grip dissolved into ash, which lazily wafted away on the wind.

Mark sighed. “I think we’ve only got two left. We’ll need to stock up again.”

Jace nodded and waved a hand. “Yeah, yeah, I know. We’ve got plenty of time for that. This job should give us more than enough to get what we need and enjoy ourselves for a few days. But first, I want a hot bath, a hot meal, and an even hotter piece of a-“

Everything froze.

The birds stopped chirping. 

Villagers froze in place, mid-stride, mid-bite, mid-thrust. 

Even the wind stopped blowing.

Attention Members of Colony A-1. A consensus has been reached. The current Cycle will end exactly twenty-four hours from now. Please conclude any important business and prepare for renewal. Thank you.

A.I.D.A.’s voice wasn’t really an audible thing. Both brother’s could hear her precise, clipped tones in their head. It was really creepy and Jace was glad that it rarely happened. Once the message ended, reality went back to normal. 

Jace whooped so loud that it caused a few passing villagers to stop and stare at him. He ignored them. “Thank fucking Christ! I am so over this sword and sorcery bullshit!”

Mark frowned. “Damn, I really liked being a wizard!”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Sure, it was great fun- at first! But you know what they never talk about in all those books, and games, and movies and shit that you obsessed over as a kid? The realities of hygiene in a medieval fantasy setting! Everyone smells like they’re from a fucking petting zoo, and that’s when they’re clean! And don’t get me started on the lack of indoor plumbing! You can make a fucking flying castle, but you can’t conjure up a working toilet so I don’t have to shit in a bucket?!”

“Yeah, I guess, but-“

Jace clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Nope! I’m glad we’re done. I know you love this stuff, bro, and I sincerely hope that you get to sling spells again in another Cycle, but I am more than ready to move the fuck on!”

Mark sighed and shrugged. “I got to be a kick ass wizard and live out my childhood fantasy for a decade. I’ll miss it, but I got no cause to complain. I wonder what we’ll get to do next?” His face brightened. “Oh! Superheroes would be cool!”

Jace grinned. “Yeah! That’d be badass! I wonder if we’d be able to fly?”

“Well, shit, now I’m excited to see what’s next!”

Jace ruffled his little brother’s hair like he used to do when they were kids. “Thattaboy! Now, we’ve got a day left in this world. Let’s say we sell off all our shit and live like kings for twenty-four hours? We’ll throw biggest going away party these shitkickers have ever seen! Whaddaya say little bro? You ready to party like it’s 1699?”

Mark laughed and nodded. “Lead the way, kemosabe.”

“Yessssssss! PAR-TAY!” Jace threw up his hands and declared, “Tonight will be legendary!”

It wasn’t.

After getting their quest reward and selling off everything that they owned, the two brothers found themselves flush with gold and with a powerful inclination to spend it in an extravagant fashion. As the old saying goes- you can’t take it with you. The first stop in their epic night of partying and debauchery was the Inn, where Jace bought the very folk he’d been complaining about for years endless rounds of drinks. He quickly became everyone in town’s best friend as word spread. Hilda the barmaid, who’d Jace had been flirting with for months, seemed especially interested, much to his delight. Yes, the eldest brother was truly living it up, Animal House style, complete with a toga that he’d fashioned out of a bed sheet. The fact that absolutely no one but the two brothers understood the reference mattered to Jace not in the slightest. He’d suffered through medieval hell for a decade and he was ready to leave it all on the field! 

Unfortunately, for all his ambition, French toddlers had a stronger tolerance for alcohol. Within two hours of making their triumphant entrance, Hilda had literally drunk Jace under the table, where he remained, snoring loudly, until morning. Mark, on the other hand, had a very lovely evening. 

While Jace was doing his best Beluishi impersonation, Mark had spent the evening chatting with a delightful young lady from a neighboring village visiting her older sister. The two managed to find a little corner away from the spectacle that Jace was making and have a nice meal of roasted chicken and local veggies. Once again, Mark was fascinated at how detailed A.I.D.A. was. Any person completely ignorant of A.I. and the simulation would swear that Becca was really a twenty-four year old woman who’d lived in Stonehedge her entire life, but dreamed of one day traveling to Summergrove to train in herbology with the elves there. The two talked until the sun came up, and Mark smiled wistfully as Becca kissed him gently on the lips and promised to see him again that night after she’d gotten some sleep. 

Mark sighed as he watched her disappear up the Inn steps to her room; and then went to dump some cold water on his brother. They only had about an hour left before the new Cycle; and God forbid Jace try to make life-defining decisions that could massively influence the next sixty years while hungover and half-conscious. He’d already be pissy that he missed out on his night of partying with Hilda because he’s a lightweight. Mark would have fun teasing him with that for a while. 

The Innkeep, Barry, had a pitcher of water ready for him. This wasn’t their first rodeo. Mark nodded his thanks as he took the pitcher and moved to the table that Barry pointed out. The response once the water hit him was immediate. Jace’s eye snapped open as he choked and spit out water. “Wuzzafuck?!”

“Wake up, loser. We’re starting a new life today.”

Jace grabbed at his temples and moaned, “Oh, God, my fucking head!”

Mark was unsympathetic. “Barry will have your tonic ready. Get up and get your shit together. We’ve got about an hour before A.I.D.A. hits the reset button.”

Jace waved at the air. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Give me a fucking second, alright?”

Mark shrugged and headed back to the bar. Barry already had a steaming cup waiting. It wasn’t exactly coffee. The locals called it zuhan. It was a type of bean with a slightly bitter-sweet taste when ground and brewed. It was almost like really dark chocolate mixed with coffee, and it definitely had an equivalent to caffeine in it. It only took a few sips to jolt you awake and make it feel like you had live wires running through your veins. Jace loved the stuff and Mark knew that it would be one of the few things that he missed about this Cycle. 

A few minutes later Jace shambled up next to his brother at the bar. Barry immediately placed a tall glass in front of him with a heavy thunk. A foul smelling steam was gently wafting up from the glass. Jace wrinkled his nose at the smell and gagged a bit. 

Mark shrugged. “You’re the one that wanted to ‘par-tay’.”

“Fuck you.” Jace closed his eyes and downed the glass in a single pull. He managed to swallow, but only barely. For a moment he looked like he was going to spew it back out, but after a few seconds of heavy breathing with his eyes closed, a few swallowed gulps as his body tried to reject the stuff, and pounding the bar top so hard that Mark was concerned he might break something, the color started to come back to Jace’s face, and his eyes weren’t bloodshot anymore. Jace gasped, “Baltro’s ballsack, that shit is vile!”

Barry grunted from behind the bar. “Works though. You two want food?”

Mark chuckled at the sick look on his brother’s face at the thought of food and then shook his head. “No thanks, Barry. Maybe bring my brother a mug of zuhan, though.”

The innkeeper smirked. “Sure thing, Mark.”

Once he disappeared into the kitchen, Mark turned to face his brother, who had his head down and buried in his arms on the bartop. He mumbled through his arms, “Okay, what happened?”

“Not much. You spent most of our money on buying everyone in town rounds of drinks, and then Hilda proceeded to outdrink you until you passed out and slid down to where I found you five minutes ago.”

Jace groaned. “Damn. I gotta learn to pace myself better.”

“Drink up. You’ll feel better.”

Jace took his brother’s advice and nursed his drink. After about ten minutes he started to feel human again. “So, you ready to start over again?”

Mark shrugged. “I really liked being a wizard. Magic is….incredible! I honestly don’t know how I’ll feel, after getting so used to this every day.” He held up his right hand, and the little pixie spell flared to life, hovering on his palm. Mark gave the pixie a weak smile before dispelling it and shrugged again. “I’m sure it’ll depend on what type of ‘world’ we’ll be in this time.”

“Yeah…”

Jace sure wasn’t going to miss the primitive fantasy hell they’d been living in. He gripped his brother’s shoulder and pulled him in for a short side hug. “It’s going to be great, buddy. You’ll see.”

Attention all Colony Members: Cycle reset in five minutes. Please prepare for de-resolution. 

Jace grinned as both brother’s stood from their bar stools. They learned the hard way after the first cycle to not be sitting or lying on anything that wasn’t solid ground. “Here we go!”

Mark threw a final wave to a very confused looking Barry the Bartender as his body began to derez. “Thanks for everything!”

The world around them faded to black. The world became a complete void, like standing in a massive, empty warehouse. Luckily, Mark’s profile had been hardwired into Jace’s pod, so they would always be together; otherwise, Jace mused, the whole process would be a hell of a lot more terrifying. When he spoke, his voice sounded muffled as though he were speaking into a pillow, and not in a wide open nothingness.

“I will never get used to this. It’s so creepy.”

Whenever A.I.D.A. appeared, she always looked like a female, maybe in her mid twenties and average height. She was also completely blue, and glowed like she were made of light. She reminded Jace of Cortana from Halo. Hell, that’s probably what she’d been modeled after. The Cycle’s programmers were clearly uber-nerds.

A.I.D.A. waved her hand and screens appeared before both brother’s eyes. “Before you is a basic breakdown of the next Cycle and the starting choices available to you. As always, make your selections carefully, for once they are locked they cannot be reset. The new Cycle will begin in approximately five minutes. Any choices that remain unselected at that time will be randomized and locked for you. I will remain until relaunch to address any questions or concerns that you may have.”

Jace squinted at the bright screen before him and muttered, “Nice of them to give us a whole five minutes to choose the direction of our lives for what could be the next sixty years.”

Then he saw the description of the next Cycle and let out a woop. 

“SPACE COWBOYS MUTHAFUCKA!”

He excitedly glanced over the very basic summary. Space faring civilization. Aliens. Politics. Scoundrels and gamblers. Space pirates. It sounded like a blend of Firefly, Star Wars, and Cowboy Bebop. This would be amazing! He kept reading. It didn’t take long. They never provided them with much information going in. It didn’t look like there’d be any magic or an equivalent to the Force or anything, so Mark would be disappointed.

There was a beep as his selection was locked and was now surrounded in gold. Name: Jason Reynolds. 

Mark arched an eyebrow. “Reynolds? Really? Why not just call us Solo?”

Jace leveled a finger in his direction. “You don’t have a stone to throw, asshole! I spent the last decade with the last name Dresden because you had to fanboy out when you found out you could be a wizard. I had to fucking talk you down from naming us Potter, for Christ’s sake! It’s my turn to pick and it’s your turn to shut your cake hole!”

Mark held up his hands in supplication. “Okay, fair enough! Could you at least not name the ship anything too obvious? No Serenity or Millennium Falcons, alright?”

Jace’s lips twisted into a smug grin as he locked in another selection. “Oh, I think you’ll like what I chose. Just for you, bro.”

Mark’s panel beeped again. 

Occupation: Bounty Hunter/ Pilot/First Mate of the Lonestar

Mark grinned. “Lonestar!“

Jace winked. “May the Schwartz be with you!”

Mark squinted at the other occupation choices and then asked, “Why bounty hunter?”

“I’m tired of being goodie goodies all the time. I didn’t want to be another lawman or in the military. I knew you’d never go for anything too dark or outright villainy, so I thought bounty hunter was a good middle ground.”

Mark grunted. “Thanks for not going full-on space pirate. I appreciate it.”

Jace snorted. “It would have been fun, but I didn’t want to raid and pillage with Sally Sadsack for the next sixty years.”

“Nice.”

“Cycle relaunch in two minutes. Please finalize your selections and prepare for reintegration.”

The two brothers finished their remaining selections in silence. Those were more personal. By the time A.I.D.A. had begun the ten second countdown, both brother’s had all of their selections locked in.

“Cycle relaunch in ten…nine…eight…”

Jace slapped his little brother on the shoulder. “This is going to be great! I’m so fucking excited!”

Mark grinned at the positively giddy expression on his brother’s face. It’d been a long time since he’d seen Jace smile like that. Too long.

“Seven…six…five…four…three…”

“See ya, space cowboy.”

Mark rolled his eyes.

“Two…one…”

Cycle Five Initiated.   

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by | March 27, 2024 · 3:45 pm

2. Litch Slapped

Mark stepped up beside his brother and sighed, “Really?”

“SILENCE!”

The booming voice was like someone had recorded a hundred people scraping their finger nails along a chalkboard and then channeled that sound into a voice capable of forming words. Jace and Mark both winced in pain as the thing continued to speak. “You mortals dare to enter my sanctuary and defile my-“

His monologue was cut off by a blast of holy fire to the face. The lich, which Mark instantly recognized the necromancer to be, wailed in pain as it clutched at it’s charred face. “He’s a lich! Find his phylactery! It’s the only way we can kill him!”

“His what?”

Mark rolled his eyes. “It’s the vessel for his soul! It’s what makes him immortal!”

The lich was recovering from Mark’s initial strike now. The thing stood from it’s stone throne at the back of the crypt and raised it’s arms, muttering in a guttural tongue that Jace didn’t recognize. “Okay, what the hell does this philly-thingy look like?”

Mark shrugged. “It could be anything. It was something that was important to the wizard before he died.”

Jace scoffed, “Oh, well that’s just wonderful! How the hell are we supposed to find this thing if it could be anything?”

All around the crypt, stone sarcophaguses opened with thuds as their occupants pushed the lids open and begun to pull themselves out at their master’s bidding. These draugr weren’t like the one’s they had faced up until this point. They were bigger, for one. Not massively so; but Jace estimated that they were at least a head taller and more solidly built than the cannon fodder he’d hacked through earlier. Their eyes blazed with a bright, green flame, which was new. Jace swallowed past his suddenly dry throat. The situation had just gone from lazily boring to deadly serious. As a “paladin”, Jace wasn’t as magically gifted as his brother, but even he could feel the power radiating from the lich and it’s minions. Jace did a quick head count. There were at least ten of them, but for all he knew there could be dozens of more in the room, waiting to be summoned back. 

“Uh, Mark? Are we in trouble? Because I feel like we may be in trouble.”

Mark leveled his wand at the nearest uber-draugr and let fly another blast of holy fire. The blast caught the thing full in the chest, and while it clearly hurt the creature, it didn’t cause it to instantly vaporize like the weaker draugr had. “Yeah, man. I think we may be in trouble.”

The lich laughed and Jace felt like his ears were being raped. 

“Jesus! I wish that thing would shut up!” 

The draugr nearest Jace got into striking range and brought it’s broadsword down at his head. Jace brought his shield up, and there was a bright flash as the old sword clashed against the holy enchantment placed into the shield’s face. The feedback from the holy shield caused the draugr to stumble backwards, dazed, which gave Jace a perfect opening to slash at it with his sword, which was now blazing a brilliant white. The sword hummed as it cut through the air and white-blue flame spewed from the wound as Jace’s sword cleaved through the draugr’s shoulder and down into it’s chest. With a bellow, Jace followed up with the edge of his shield, catching the draugr in it’s neck and decapitating it with another bout of holy flame. He let the momentum of his swing turn his body into spin, allowing the blade to pull free of the now-fallen draugr and arc around, catching the sword of another that had been trying to flank Jace on the right. Apparently, the weapons and armor of these uber-draugr got an upgrade as well, because the draugr’s sword met Jace’s enchanted blade gamely, and didn’t shatter as Jace had expected it to.

“Okie dokie. I guess playtime is officially over.”

The draugr pulled back his sword and swung. Jace caught it on his shield, knocked the blade aside, decapitated the draugr, and sent a kick into it’s midsection. The now-headless body stumbled back into two other draugr that were rushing towards Jace from behind it. In unison, the two new challengers contemptuously batted the headless body of their fallen brethren aside and both swung at Jace from opposite directions. He blocked the one on his left with his shield, and the one on his right with his sword, but that left him wide open for the third draugr he hadn’t seen to lunge from between them and stab at Jace’s chest. The enchantments on his armor howled as it resisted the blade, but the force of the blow sent Jace stumbling backwards. His heel caught on something and he fell back onto his ass with a clang. Air rushed from his lungs in a woosh, and the draugr relentlessly pressed their advantage.

“SHIT!”

Well, that’s what he thought. What came out was just a panicked wheeze. Electricity arced from Jace’s left and caught that draugr in it’s side just as it was lifting it’s sword to split Jace’shead like a melon. The electricity enveloped the undead warrior and arced to the other two standing next to it, forming a circuit and setting all three zombies to jerking spasmodically as Mark pumped more energy into the spell and kept the juice flowing. 


Jace quickly dropped his sword from his hands and pulled his shield from the straps on his left arm. With a mumbled word of power, his shield erupted in holy light, and with a grunt he hurled it at the draugr nearest him. The holy shield smacked the closest draugr in it’s head, rebounded off, hit a stone sarcophagus, rebounded, met the next zombie in line, and then bounced into the third. Each head that met the shield promptly exploded in holy light, and the headless torso’s dropped to the ground, smoking. Jace lost sight of where the shield ended up after that, and he didn’t have time to try and find it. He used the temporary reprieve to haul his heavy armor-ladened ass off of the ground and brandish his blade once more.

Two more draugr were shambling towards him with determination. Mark was similarly occupied. As Jace watched, Mark began to chant and rotate his hands as though he were rolling a snowball. Holy power swirled and gathered between his palms, as Mark summoned the energy to him and crafted it into the spell. Jace knew what Mark was doing and he needed time to pull it off. Mark had a couple of draugr that were getting far too close for comfort. Jace didn’t have much available to him in the ranged weapon department. Desperate, he went for a hail mary. Jace quickly sheathed his sword as he bent down and hefted a decent sized chunk of stone that had shattered from one of the sarcophaguses when his shield had struck it. Concentrating, Jace blessed the stone, channeling as much energy into the spell as he could quickly muster, and in response the stone began to take on a yellow glow. With a muttered prayer to no god in particular, which was ironic for a “paladin”, Jace hurled the stone with a grunt. On contact with the draugr the stone exploded like a holy hand grenade, and when the flash cleared both draugr were gone. 

That was great for Mark, but it didn’t do anything for the two very pissed off draugr now within striking distance of Jace. He managed to rip his sword from its sheath just in time to parry a strike from the first undead warrior. “Mark, whatever you’re doing over there, hurry it up!”

Mark’s muttered words were gaining in speed and volume as the ball of energy between his hands continued to grow. He was close, but Jace was about to be swarmed, as three additional draugr were heading his way to join the two already doing their best to kill him. Jace parried another swipe from the right-hand draugr, channeled as much energy as he could spare into his holy sword, and struck- not at either of the draugr directly in front of him, but the stone directly between them. For a brief moment what looked like a yellow-gold hologram of a massive war hammer outlined his sword and then the weapon made contact with the stone floor. The smite spell went off like a bomb, instantly dissolving the two uber-draugr in it’s holy light and ragdolling the trailing three across the room to disappear into the darkness, smoke trailing in their wake. Exhaustion flooded over Jace, and he dropped to one knee, huffing like he’d just run a marathon. 

To his left, Mark’s chanting reached a fevered pitch and the ball of energy between Mark’s hands shone like a star. There was a brief moment where it felt like all of reality took a breath, like all of the air was sucked from the room, all sound vanished. There was only the Lich, and the spell in Mark’s hands. Then Mark screamed, shoving his hands forward, palms meeting at the wrists, and a blinding white-gold torrent of energy exploded towards the Lich.  

The Lich hadn’t been idol. While Jace had been playing Whack-A-Mole with the draugr, and Mark had been doing his anime power-up routine, the Lich had been charging his own spell. The torrent of holy energy slammed into a sudden dome of inky black energy that started a good two feet in front of the Lich. Mark screamed as he pushed the spell, trying to overwhelm the Lich’s shield. It was a contest between Wizards. Which was more powerful? Jace didn’t know, and really didn’t want to find out. While they were having their magical dick measuring contest, Jace took the opportunity to down his last energy potion and get his ass in gear. Even if Mark managed to overwhelm the shield and hit the Lich with that massive spell, he said it wouldn’t mean diddly-squat if they haven’t destroyed that phily-thingy yet, and Jace still had no fucking clue what he was looking for. 

On the bright side, Jace did find his shield buried in the side of a coffin as he ran in the Lich’s direction. He yanked it free with a whoop of joy, and used it’s edge to gingerly poke at the magical dome that was protecting the Lich. As he hoped, the Lich’s shield was designed to stop magical energies, not physical objects. Jace stepped across the threshold of the shield and grimaced. 

It felt…icky. 

The energy had a dark, sickly feel to it that felt spiritually greasy and turned his stomach. Luckily, the feeling passed as soon as he was through. The Lich saw him, his lime green eyes glowing with power, and narrowing as he approached. Unfortunately for him, there wasn’t much he could do without fucking up his concentration and letting Mark’s spell through. Jace grinned and waved, then continued his search of the stone throne and its surrounding area. The Lich screeched in rage. It was painful as hell, but Jace couldn’t let it distract him.

There! 

Behind the throne, wedged between the stone back and the wall, was an hour glass. The sands glowed the same green as the Lich’s eyes. The sands were suspended mid-fall, as though time had stopped. Well, Jace could fix that. He hefted his sword, and the Lich screamed again. Then there was an explosion of light and sound and Jace lost complete track of what the fuck was going on for a few seconds. When his vision started to focus and the ringing in his ears went from being a roar to just really irritating, Jace realized what had happened. The Lich had dropped the shield. The Lich’s body had been thrown into the throne, it’s right leg draped over the throne’s arm, it’s head bent at an unnatural angle and hanging from the seat. The whole thing was blackened and smoking, like he’d been barbequed. It wasn’t moving. 

Jace blinked. “Huh. Did we just win?”

Mark was on all fours, panting, completely spent form the magical effort he’d just exerted. He slowly managed to lift his head and admire his work. “It…looks….like…it…”

He paused to gulp at air for a few more seconds and catch his breath. “Where was the phylactery?”

Jace motioned with his sword. “It’s this weird hourglass that’s wedged behind this throne.”

Mark’s eyes widened in sudden terror. “You didn’t destroy it?!”

Jace’s response was cut off by a bolt of lightning to the chest. Electricity played over the metal of his armor and sent his entire body into spasms. He bellowed in pain and dropped to the ground, writhing in agony as the Lich rose from it’s throne and chuckled. It’s body still looked like a rotisserie chicken that had been left on the spit for a week, but even as Mark watched the torched undead skin flaked away, revealing smooth pale skin beneath it. The Lich’s thin grey lips peeled back in a yellow smile that was all tooth as it pumped more energy into the lightning spell. Jace couldn’t even scream. His mouth was stuck open in a soundless wail as his body jerked spasmodically with each pulse of electric power. 

Mark scrambled for the pouch around his shoulder and silently offered up a prayer to whatever may be listening that he hadn’t run out of energy potions, otherwise he and his brother were boned. Relief flooded over him as his fingers wrapped around the cool glass vial. He yanked it from his pack and ripped the cork out with his teeth. The potion felt warm as it ran down his throat, like the smoothest, sweetest liquor you could ever drink. Mark felt a radiant smile spread over his face. He couldn’t help it. He always felt this way whenever he felt magic. Even after a decade, it never got old. The feeling of energy was almost euphoric. Mark brandished his wand, the runes along it’s shaft glowing with blue light as the energy flowed through it, focusing his intention and channeling it until the energy leapt from the tip of the wand and lashed towards the Lich. 

Mark wasn’t trying to hurt the Lich, just break it’s concentration so that Jace would have a chance to recover. The spell had been one of pure force, and the Lich was knocked ass over tea kettle when the mass of raw energy collided into him. The lightning spell instantly cut off, and Jace groaned in relief. Mark leapt to his feet and pressed his attack, trying to keep the Lich’s attention. He cut loose with his own lightning spell, which made contact with the Lich just as it was trying to pull itself back to it’s feet. The Lich was good. It lifted a hand, fingers splayed, and the Lich caught the lightning on a magical dome that reflected it back at it’s caster. Mark yelped in surprise and leapt to the side, narrowly avoiding being bolted by his own spell.

It took a few moments for Jace to get control of his limbs back. His body felt completely spent and it was a struggle to move. He was out of energy potions. 

Fuck.

Jace grunted as he forced his body to crawl, ever so slowly and painfully, towards the Lich’s throne. It was only a few feet away, but with how Jace was feeling, it might as well have been miles. “I am so over this Dungeons and Dragons bullshit…”

The rest of the crypt looked like a fireworks show as Mark and the Lich continued to trade magical blows. Mark was good. Really good. Over the last decade he’d grown to be quite the magical powerhouse. More than once, Mark had shocked his older brother with some of the crazy shit he’d managed to pull off; but Jace knew that his brother had to be getting close to magically empty. That energy potion he downed was only going to go so far. Time wasn’t on their side.

Jace and Mark had lived through four Cycles now. Close to thirty years had passed in the real world. In all that time, neither of them had died yet. Jace wondered how it would feel. Would everything just go black? Would he dream? What if the program messed up and he never woke up again? Jace shook away the thought. Fuck that. He didn’t want to find out. There had to be a way out of this. 

He continued to ignore the exhaustion and pain, pushing to drag himself ever closer to the Lich’s phylactery; willing himself to go faster, to get there in time to save both of their lives. His little brother was counting on him. Besides, this was ridiculous! They’d beaten nastier shit than this stupid Lich! Hell, just a month before they’d slayed a fucking dragon! A massive, fire breathing, human chomping, princess stealing dragon! The princess had even awarded them-

“God dammit, I’m a fucking moron!” 

Jace reached under his breastplate and pulled out the medallion he wore on a leather cord around his neck. With a yank he pulled the necklace free. The medallion was gold with the face of an owl stamped into it. Jace lifted the medallion to his lips and muttered the activation phrase. “I summon you now to fulfill your oath.”

He flicked the medallion towards the throne. It bounced off with the same ringing cling that any metal coin would make when it strikes stone, and then…

Nothing.

“Oh, for fucks sake! Come on!”

There was a flash and suddenly there was a massive owlbear blinking stupidly down at Jace from next to the throne. An owlbear is exactly what it sounds like- a creature with the body of a bear and the head of an owl. Nasty things. Super aggressive. This one was just a one-time-use construct, but it was still impressive and pants-shittingly terrifying up close. Mark and the Lich both paused in their magical showdown to glance over at the owlbear and just stare for a second; the Lich in shock, Mark in glee. 

Mark pumped his fist in the air. “Fuck yes!”

Jace grinned as he pointed at the phylactery and shouted, “I command you to destroy that hourglass!”

With a weird hoot-growl, the owlbear moved to comply as the Lich screeched in terror and protest and hurled a dark ball of energy at it. Too late. The owlbear already had the hourglass in it’s massive…paws? With a screech, it crushed the thing in a single squeeze. There was a shockwave of sickly green energy and the Lich howled in pain and rage as the green flames of his eyes faded and the now-mortal wizard fell to his knees. 

This time when he spoke, it sounded like a man who’d smoked three packs a day and was far less ear rapey. “You fools! What have you done?!”

Mark smirked. “We just won.”

Jace leveled a finger at the Wizard-Formerly-Known-As-Lich and threw him his best Harrison Ford lopsided grin. “Owly. Kill him.”

With a hoot-screech, some screaming, and a very disturbing final scene of carnage, it was over.  

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by | March 27, 2024 · 3:43 pm

1. Dungeon Crawl

For the fifth time in as many minutes, Jace slashed his magical longsword at the neck of yet another draugr as it lunged towards him, and he tried not to yawn. This particular undead Norse warrior was a bit quicker on the uptake than his brethren had been thus far, and actually used the ancient broadsword in it’s hand to block Jace’s slash. Not that it mattered. There was a flash of light as the two swords collided and the holy magic imbued in Jace’s sword lashed out on contact, creating a mini shockwave of holy energy that always made Jace’s skin feel warm and tingly as it flowed around him. To the undead, it was like standing next to a nuke as it went off. The ancient broadsword sheered in half, as though the wave of holy energy were a massive buzz saw. It did the same to the rusty armor, and once the holy energy met the rotting skin of the undead warrior beneath, there was a bright bout of holy fire that leapt from the wound and consumed the creature in an instant. It was all very flashy and impressive looking. Jace had seen it so many times it’d just become routine. After almost a decade, magic just wasn’t very magical to him anymore. 

“God dammit! He didn’t even leave any loot!”

There was a loud thundercrack and bright flash of a purple-blue light from behind him, and Mark grunted. “Yeah, this one either.”

Jace turned to face his younger brother. The ancient crypt they were currently trekking through was dank and dark, but Mark had cast a spell that made a little pixie of light that hovered between the two brothers overhead, casting their surroundings in a faint blue light. It was good enough to see by in their immediate area, but not so bright as to be a big flashing sign saying “EAT ME!” to anything supernatural and nasty that may be lurking nearby. Not that they seemed to need to worry about that much here. The draugrs so far had been complete pushovers, and Jace was horribly bored. 

His brother was dressed in the typical High Wizard robes that his colleagues wore. Mark’s were navy blue, immaculately tailored using the finest of magically strengthened spider-silk threads, and cinched closed by a braided gold cord which amplified the wearers magical power tenfold. It was very wizardly and ostentatious and Mark had been practically giddy when he’d had it made after being granted the rank of High Wizard by his order. He’d even had a pointy wizard hat that completed the outfit, but an Ogre, which unbeknownst to the brothers at the time were highly resistant to magic, ate it. He’d since had a spider-silk hood sewn into the collar instead, which he always wore up. He said it made him look “cool and mysterious”.

Jace thought it was because Mark thought that it made him look like a Jedi. Whatever. It reminded him of when they would play make believe as kids. Before…

He shook his head, as if the action would shake off the sudden wave of melancholy that threatened to crash over him. Instead, he took all that emotion and channeled it into his shield. With a roar, he swung the shield at a lingering draugr that had been slower to reanimate than his fellows. There was a loud CRACK and a blinding flash of light as the smite spell resolved. The sudden flash was temporarily blinding in the dark cavern, and when Jace’s vision cleared there was nothing left of the draugr but ash.

Mark scratched at his patchy beard with his left hand as he nonchalantly pointed his right index finger at a corner of the crypt that Jace couldn’t see. There was another, less intense, flash as a firebolt the size of a snowball materialized from the tip of the yellow dragon leather glove and streaked away. Jace didn’t see what Mark had shot at, it was safe to assume that it was another draugr, but the flames left behind caused Mark’s side of the crypt to flicker ominously. Jace idly wondered if there was much in the crypt that was flammable. 

Mark shrugged. “I guess we’re over leveled for this dungeon?”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Dude, for the hundred-thousandth time, this isn’t a fucking video game!”

“Of course it is! We’re literally in a virtual reality simulation!” He nonchalantly torched another draugr that was shambling up from behind a pillar. “This is the very definition of a video game!”

Jace placed his shield on top of a nearby coffin and jabbed his sword into the stone beneath him. He leaned on the pommel in an effort to ease some of the weight off of his throbbing feet. Enchanted heavy armor is, not surprisingly, heavy. Jace figured the sword dorks of his paladin order would have wanted to bitch slap him for treating his sword that way if they had seen, but the fucking thing was enchanted all to hell, would never break, and would never lose it’s edge. The sword dorks could bite his ass. His feet hurt. “Yeah, well I realize it’s been a long while since you and I played anything, but I don’t recall all the pain.” he wrinkled his nose. “Or the bad smells. The really. Bad. Smells.”

Mark snorted. “It’s a really, really advanced video game. In fact, it reminds me of one of the ones we used to play as kids. Remember Skyrim?”

Jace nodded. “Yep. I’m sure this entire Cycle is based on it, along with a bunch of other popular fantasy things. It’s not a straight one for one translation, but it’s definitely close. We’ve lived through four Cycles now, and we’ve recognized things from all of them. I’m pretty sure a lot of them are programmed around stuff that the programmers loved from before the War. Movies, T.V. shows, video games, books.”

Mark bent down to examine something that fell out of a broken vase. It looked like some sort of gemstone. He scoffed and threw it back on the ground as he muttered “Not worth the carry weight.” He turned his attention back to his brother. “Yeah, that makes sense. Who knows how long we’ll be stuck in the Colony? That’s a lot of content they’d have to program to keep this thing going. Besides, it’s not like they have to worry about copyright infringement anymore, right?”

“I’m just glad that JRPG Cycle got voted down quick. After a week of that shit I was ready to commit seppuku.” 

Jace sighed as he stood up straight and pulled the blade from the floor. The sooner they got this quest over with, the sooner they could get back to town and into the dining hall at the Inn. Jace was starving. Maybe he’d get lucky and convince the barmaid, Hilda, for a little fun time after she got off work. He was so lost in that pleasant thought that he didn’t notice the draugr that had shambled up behind him. 

“Jace!”

The warning came a second too late, and Jace bellowed in pain as the draugr’s sword came crashing down on his right shoulder pauldron. Like all of his armor, the pauldron had been magically enchanted, so the draugr’s blade didn’t cut through; but the impact still hurt like a son of a bitch, and the force of the blow had knocked Jace off balance and sent him stumbling forward. A bolt of lightning arced past where his head had been and caught the draugr straight in the chest. For a brief moment the thing’s entire skeleton was visible in the bright flash, and then where the draugr had been was just a smoking crater and some ash. Jace stumbled into a stone sarcophagus and managed to steady himself. 

Mark clucked at the black mark on the pauldron as he walked past. “Speaking of pain, not paying attention, even in a cakewalk place like this, is a good way to experience more of it.”

“Yes, mom.”

Mark’s chuckles echoed through the crypt as he walked on, his little pixy light following faithfully in his wake. If Jace didn’t want to get left behind in the dark, he needed to move. He grabbed his shield from the top of the coffin as he hustled past and followed in his brother’s wake. “Remind me why the hell we’re down here again?”

“Uhhh, some necromancer stole some ring from some guy? I honestly wasn’t paying much attention. I’d gotten to this fascinating section in that grimnoir I found and-“

“Right. Nevermind.” Jace rolled his eyes reflexively as he cut his brother off with dismissive wave of the hand. His brother was the walking embodiment of nerdom. 

“I think the end of the line is just up ahead.” Mark pointed to a large metal door at the end of the corridor with his wand, the runes along it’s edge glowing with an inner white light as Mark channeled holy magics through it. “Ready to finish this?”

Jace twisted his head from side to side, causing his neck to crackle in several spots; and then he hefted his sword and shield. “Hell yes! Let’s kick this guy’s ass and get the hell out of here!”

Previous boredom now forgotten, Jace whooped as he leapt forward and kicked out at the metal door. The thing flew from it’s rusted hinges to collapse with a massive thud, as Jace stepped through the opening, brandished his holy sword, which now blazed with white holy fire, and declared, “REPENT, BITCHES, FOR THE END IS NEAR! I’m here to chew bubble gum and smite undead ass, and bubble gum doesn’t exist in this world!”

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by | October 8, 2023 · 8:31 am

Free Book!

Friends, I need your help. I’m putting my book out independently, which means for search algorithms and such to work for me at all, I desperately need reviews. So, I’m running a launch promotion. From Today until October 12th my book will be available for free. So, please, pick up a copy at no cost to you. Share the link. Tell your nerdy friends who likes to read. All I ask in return is that you please consider leaving a review. Thank you.

Book overview

Before our universe began, there existed another, flawed universe that shattered during the process of creation. The Qlippoth, the only surviving remnant of that long-dead universe, remain, and have spent all of creation attempting to spread their evil across this new universe and make it their own. On Earth, the first and last line of defense against the enemy’s demonic hordes are magickally empowered warrior-monks known as The Chosen. Together with a world-spanning intelligence network, The Faithful, the forces of good have been Earth’s magickal sword and shield for millennia.

Ten years ago, a devastating attack by the Enemy left the Chosen shattered, and it’s leader, Jude, in self-imposed exile. Now, a threat that could mean the final loss of Earth to the Quippoth has emerged; and Jude must return to repair the damage that his absence has caused and recruit and train his replacement, Paul, without whom there can be no victory. If Jude fails, our world will fall to darkness, and he will never find the peace that he’s been so desperately searching for.

In the war between good and evil, heroes are not made, they’re Chosen.

Also included: a bonus short story- The Chosen: Requiem!

The Chosen: Book One: Rebirth https://a.co/d/0iYHvIj

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by | October 2, 2023 · 4:09 pm

New Book!

So… I did a thing.

Some of you may remember about a decade ago when I self-published my first book that I wrote with Mark Ruelius. We’d been working on it for over a decade when Mark tragically passed unexpectedly due to complications with diabetes. I was devastated. Mark was like a little brother to me, and to have him taken from us so suddenly left me reeling. The only thing I could think to do to honor this person that meant so much to me was to ensure that the work he did, the only work he’d tragically be able to do, would be seen by people; because Mark was a freaking brilliant storyteller. I have zero doubt that he would have went on to become a big name in the industry. So, I finished editing the best I could, and I pushed the book out. I wrote a few more little popcorn novels, and then I got married to the love of my life and became a step-dad to a then-toddler with special needs. My focus went from writing 8+ hours a day, to being a stay-at-home dad, and I have zero regrets.

Now, just over a decade later, our son is about to enter high school. We’ve finally gotten his medical issues sorted out, and he’s doing an amazing job at school. In the last ten years, I never stopped coming up with stories. I never stopped taking notes. My dream to be a writer never went away. It was just taking a break.

Break time is over.

The first thing I wanted to do was revisit that first book, that meant so so much to both myself and Mark, and I wanted to make it into the novel we wanted it to be, but just never quite got there. So, I re-read the entire thing, made notes, and then systematically began to rewrite and edit. The core of the story is the same. The sections that were Mark’s babies remain largely untouched, because Mark was just that good and they rarely needed anything. The rest has been completely revamped. Entire sections have been rewritten/added. I feel like the story is finally in a place where Mark and I always wanted it to be.

So, this new book is now available for purchase, and it’s the first of many more to come. I hope that you’ll check it out, spread the word, and enjoy experiencing this world of magick, flaming swords, and good verses evil that I created with my friend.

Go buy it!

https://a.co/d/i9cIiPN

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by | March 22, 2019 · 4:39 pm

I’m Back! An Update and Announcement

I’ll be celebrating my fifth wedding anniversary next month. That’s really wild to say “out loud”. In some respects time has flown by. In others, so much has happened it feels like it’s been a lot longer than that. In that time while I’ve played around with various side projects and posted a post here and there I’ve largely just been focusing on family and personal stuff. Now, I feel like I’m finally in a place where I can go back to focusing on writing “full time”. I have a new book series, the foundation/notes for which I’ve been working on for several years now, that I’m about the start writing in earnest; but before I do that I wanted to do something that I’ve been wanting to do for almost a decade now. I wrote my first novel, The Chosen: Rebirthing, with my best friend Mark Ruelius. We worked on that book for close to ten years, but tragically Mark died just before we finished the final draft. I’d made him a promise that I’d get it published, and I wanted to preserve as much of what Mark wrote as I could without any interference, so I self published the novel in two parts (because it was just too expensive to publish otherwise). I’d gone through more edits than I can count, and I tried to make it as professional as I could, but it was our first novel and it showed. I went back and re-read it recently and I was honestly ashamed that I allowed myself to publish it in the state it was in. There were an embarrassing amount of problems I missed because at the time I was too inexperienced and too close to the project to see them, and quite a few places that needed to be outright cut or rewritten that at the time I just couldn’t emotionally bring myself to do without Mark. That said, I still love the story. I love what Mark and I made together. I want to do that story justice, and put the ten years or so of experience I now have into making a version that Mark would be proud of.

That said, I’ve spent the last month going back through and re-editing the entire book with the intention of re-publishing it sometime this year, whenever it’s ready. I currently have several people doing beta-reads for me now, and I’ll be doing another edit pass shortly. The story has been cleaned up quite a bit, expanded in some places, trimmed in others. A lot of grammatical issues that were missed last time are being addressed. The two parts will be put back together into a single novel, as was originally intended. Shawn Skvarna, a professional artist and good friend of Mark’s and mine who did the original cover, will be doing a new cover. My good friend, and professional voice actress, Joi Holloway will be narrating an unabridged audiobook version that’ll be available on Audible along side the Kindle edition. Both versions will also include a never before seen short story that will fill in some backstory on a very important character. As of now I don’t have plans to publish hard copy versions because it’s just too expensive to do given it’s length. I hope to have for you soon the novel that we always intended to deliver, and I hope that you all will give it a chance and enjoy it. I intend to post more regular updates here, along with other posts, maybe some short stories. You know, fun stuff, as I get back into the swing of writing again. I hope you’ll come along with me on the ride.

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by | February 15, 2017 · 8:29 pm

The Thick Man

thickman

One night my friend Mark and I were joking around and he said that I should write a fictional book based on my real life, with me as the main character. I told him that was the most ridiculous idea that I’d ever heard; but we started joking about it and throwing around ideas and by the end of the conversation it became a “thing”. We spent the last couple of months of Mark’s life kicking around ideas and plot points for this silly book that would be a comedic homage to The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett- a favorite of both of ours. Unfortunately Mark passed away before we could get much farther than a list of notes, gags, and funny lines. A couple of years after his death I finally decided to try and write the thing. It was a lot of fun. I had a blast writing it. My test readers enjoyed reading it. The problem was it was shy of being novel length, adding anything to it to hit the word count I needed just felt like padding and didn’t work for the story, and it’s incredibly difficult to sell a novella as a (traditionally) unpublished author. So it’s sat collecting metaphorical dust for a few years now. Well, I’ve taken a break from writing since getting married, and I’ve been trying to work my way back into giving it another go. I thought a good way to do that would be to finally put this out there for people to read. So here you go, I present to you The Thick Man. I hope you enjoy it.

Blurb:
When down on his luck private investigator, Nicholas Taft, is asked by his best friend, homicide detective Nora Charleston, to help with a high-profile murder investigation, he figured it was just another badly needed paycheck and a chance to help a friend. He never dreamed that he’d end up stuck in the middle of a turf war between the mob and local gangs with a price on his head so large that it sends every hitman, gangbanger, and opportunistic hood in Saint Louis after him.
Nick Taft isn’t a traditional literary hero. Born with a medical condition where his body fails to produce testosterone, Nick weighs over five hundred pounds and has numerous medical issues, not the least of which is a bum knee that requires the use of a cane. Coming from a long line of cops and lawyers, Nick feels the need to follow in the family tradition, and after a few failed attempts at various criminal justice careers, Nick’s unique perspective and quick wit earn him some notoriety as a private investigator. When several recently released ex-cons are graphically murdered, the media sensation that it creates puts pressure on the police to solve the case quickly. Nick is brought in as a consultant, and through the course of the investigation, Nick and Nora discovers that someone is using ex-cons as ambassadors to unite all of the gangs in Saint Louis. After dodging kidnapping attempts and the interests of the local mob boss, Nick and Nora have to find out who is behind this new drug organization before it gets them both killed… and maybe solve that pesky murder case in the process. The Thick Man is a homage to the noir classic The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett, with a blend of comedy and drama similar in style to the hit television show Castle starring Nathan Fillion.

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by | October 4, 2015 · 8:02 pm

Updated Star Wars: The New Canon Reviews

starwarsnewnovels

For those of you who may be new to the Star Wars expanded universe scene, here is a VERY simplistic run down of what’s going on: When Disney purchased Lucasfilm they formed a Story Group. The job of this Story Group was to manage the story of Star Wars and make sure that everything- from the movies to the T.V. shows, books, comics, & games- all told a cohesive story. One of the first decisions that this Story Group made was to make all previous expanded universe stuff (the books, comics, games, etc. from the last 20+ years) “Legends” and start over with a fresh slate. Everything released under the Star Wars banner from that point on would be considered “canon”- the official history of Star Wars and it’s characters. That means that anything you read in the books or comics, see in the TV shows or movies, or play in the games, really “happened” in that galaxy far, far away that we all love. The following is my review of each of the books & comics that have been released in this new canon. The following reviews will be short, to the point, and won’t contain any spoilers.

The Novels:

ANewDawn

A New Dawn was the first of the new canon to be released and it serves as a prequel to the TV show Rebels (which if you haven’t been watching, you should). It introduces us to Kanan Jarrus, former Jedi padawan turned scoundrel, and Hera Syndulla, ace pilot and freedom fighter.

What I Liked:
The book does an excellent job of giving readers insight into who Kanan and Hera are and what makes them tick. It is an excellent primer for Rebels and is something that any fan of that series will enjoy for that reason alone. The book also introduces readers to Rae Sloan, a female Imperial Commander who goes on to play a major role in Aftermath.

What I Didn’t Like:
Unfortunately, that’s about the only thing that the book has going for it. It’s well written, but the plot is  rather uninteresting and the pacing is on the slow side. Readers looking for swashbuckling Jedi action, shootouts, and starfighter dogfights will be disappointed. In fact, a year after reading the book I’m having a hard time even remembering the major plot points and I had to look up the publisher’s summery to refresh my memory. That’s a bad sign.

Conclusion:
A New Dawn wasn’t a bad book, and fans of the Rebels series will enjoy learning more about Kanan & Herra, but the plot is forgettable and the pacing is on the slow side.  It’s worth a read for fans, but there are better Star Wars offerings to tackle first.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Rent

Who Will Like It: Fans of Rebels.

Heir_to_the_Jedi

Ever since I, Jedi by Micheal Stackpole I’ve longed for someone else to write a book in first person; so when this new slate of canonical books was announced and I saw that not only were we going to get a book written in first person from Luke’s point of view, but that it was being written by one of my favorite authors, Kevin Hearne, I was beyond excited. My wife and I are both HUGE Iron Druid fans, so for me this was like a match made in heaven. I’ve had both the e-book and the audiobook preordered for over a month and I had both downloaded to my phone as soon as they became available. I devoured the entire thing over the course of a day.

I’m not going to go into details about the story because I always hate it when reviews do that. If you’re reading this to see if the book is worth buying before you read it you don’t want some yahoo ruining the experience with an outline of the whole story; and if you’ve already read the book and you’re just here to see what I thought then you’re not going to want a rehash of a story you already know. So here’s all you need to know about the book for the purposes of the review: the book is set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back and it’s told from Luke’s point of view. Admiral Ackbar and Leia send Luke off on a mission along side a new potential love interest. Hijinks ensue.

What I Liked
It was exactly what I expected Kevin Hearne to deliver- a fun, entertaining, quick read. This is not a thick, 400+ page novel with an intricate plot and a massive cast; and that’s not a bad thing. The story Hearne weaves here is a more contained, personal story for Luke. He’s not saving the galaxy. There’s no huge threat. It’s Luke completing a series of connected missions for the Alliance while he tries to figure out more about the Force and how he’s supposed to learn to be a Jedi without a teacher. Hearne’s light, often humorous, style fits Luke perfectly at this stage of his life, and is a great lead in to Jason Arron and John Cassaday’s Star Wars ongoing comic from Marvel (which if you’re not reading, you should be).  It’s a smaller, more intimate story, but it isn’t just a fun throw-away tale. Through the course of the novel it helps to answer the question that most fans had when they watched Luke call his lightsaber to his hand while he was hanging upside down in the wampa cave during The Empire Strikes Back – when did he learn to do that? Hearne helps to fill in some of those gaps between the movies with important development for Luke’s character. It was also a really great idea to tell this story from a first person perspective, as it helps the reader to really connect with Luke as a person as opposed to him just being some overly powerful hero archetype as he’s been so often portrayed in the past.The new character that Hearne introduces, Nakari Kelen, could have easily been a one dimensional stereotype but over the course of the novel Hearne fleshes out a fun, kick-ass female character that has great chemistry with Luke.

What I Didn’t Like
The pacing was a little too quick and uneven in some places. Events early in the novel are often easily completed and then glossed over to get to the next set-piece. I’m glad that Hearne didn’t drag out unnecessary transitions, but I wouldn’t have minded if he took a little more time fleshing things out. Also, there was one instance where a “reward” for Luke’s help is a little too convenient for the plot, as it becomes needed just a few pages later. Originally this book was set to be part of a trilogy of Legends books, but when the change over happened it was decided that this story could fit in the new canon. I don’t know how much of the book got changed because of that transition, but I wonder if some of the pacing issues might be a result.

Conclusion

Heir to the Jedi was an enjoyable read for me and I’m hoping that Kevin Hearne will come back to that galaxy far, far away again some time with a story that might not be as hindered due to circumstances. Reviews have been pretty mixed on this one, so your mileage may vary. The best advice I can give is manage expectations and go into it understanding that this isn’t Luke the Jedi Knight facing some galaxy-level threat. It’s a smaller story of a post-ANH Luke that would be at home as a few issue run in the comics.

Buy, Rent, Or Pass: Buy

Who Will Like It: Anyone Who’s Seen the Star Wars Movies/ Star Wars Fans/ Any Fan of The Iron Druid Chronicles

Tarkin-Cover

Tarkin is exactly what you’d expect from the title- a novel about Grand Moff Tarkin and how he came into power.

What I Liked:
James Luceno is a very talented writer and it was interesting to see the history of this influential character and how he came to be the man we see in A New Hope. Luceno writes Tarkin as a fully realized, three dimensional human being where he could have easily been a one note villain stereotype. The highlight of the novel is seeing Tarkin and his interactions with Vader.

What I Didn’t Like:

I have to admit that Tarkin is my least favorite of the new canon novels so far, but that is purely due to personal preference. As I said, Luceno is an excellent writer, I just had very little interest in the subject matter. I honestly didn’t need a book about Tarkin. I never cared about where he came from or how he came into power. I was perfectly content with him being used as a secondary character, with his history being given to us in snippets through the stories he shows up in, such as his role in Rebels and in Lost Stars. I found the main plot of Tarkin hunting down Rebels that stole his ship to be pretty boring, and it took me several weeks to get through the whole novel because I just didn’t have much motivation to read it.

Conclusion:
While I didn’t care for the novel, I know many other Star Wars fans that LOVED this novel and couldn’t put it down. The novel is well written and my experience with it was purely due to my own personal preferences.

Buy, Rent, Or Pass: Rent/Buy depending on personal preference.

Who Will Like It:  Fans of the Empire. People interested in learning about Tarkin.

dark disciple

Dark Disciple is a novel adaptation of a series of unused scripts from The Clone Wars TV series. It follows rebel Jedi Quinlan Vos (best known from the Dark Horse comics) and former Sith Apprentice, now bounty hunter, Asajj Ventress as they’re sent on a mission to assassinate Count Dooku.

What I Liked:
The Clone Wars DNA is obvious to anyone who is a fan of the show. Golden does a great job personifying Ventress and Vos, and the evolution of their relationship. It’s also a great look at how the Jedi aren’t infallible and the impact that the war has had on both the Order and individual Jedi. It’s a solid, fun story and my third favorite novel of the new canon.

What I Didn’t Like:
The story would have been even more effective if the Dark Horse comics had been officially brought into canon, fleshing out Quinlan’s history and previous struggles with the dark side. That’s a minor quibble, given that the novel does a good job of establishing who Vos is on it’s own.

Conclusion:
This is, by far, one of the best novels in the new canon. It’s fun, well paced, and tells a great story. While you don’t have to have seen The Clone Wars to enjoy this novel, fans of that series will get even more more out of it.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy

Who Will Like It: Fans of the Clone Wars, Fans of Jedi/Sith tales, casual Star Wars fans looking for a fun story.

Lords_of_the_Sith

Take Vader at the height of his power and the Emperor showing off just how badass he really is, and then strand them both in a hostile environment where a group of rebels are hunting them. Interested? Damn right you are!

What I Liked:
This is Vader as we always wanted to see him. This is the Vader we see in the season two premier of Rebels. This is Vader being the boogyman, the urban legend, that rebels whisper about like they’re telling campfire tales. Then there’s the Emperor finally cutting loose and showing us all why Yoda was unable to beat him. This is the Emperor from the Clone Wars season five finale as he took on Maul and Savage at the same time and whooped their monkey asses. These are the Sith Lords we always wanted to see. The Rebel side is well represented too. What could have easily been just stereotypes and canon fodder like they were in Tarkin, here we get Cham Syndulla (Hera’s father) leading the Free Ryloth Movement on their biggest mission ever: to take out the Emperor and Vader. Their plan is interesting. The characters are well written and three dimensional. The novel is not only one of the very best of the new canon, but would rank up as one of the very best of the Legends as well.

What I didn’t Like:
I have to say, there really isn’t anything I didn’t like. This book was great from beginning to end and anything I’d say here would be complete nit-picking.

Conclusion:
This is Vader and the Emperor being complete badasses. In fact, that should be the blurb on the cover: Sith Badassery. There is no reason to not read this book.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy. Duh.

Who Will Like It: Star Wars Fans, Sith fans, Vader worshipers, Fans of badassery.

aftermath

Aftermath has been incredibly divisive among the Star Wars fandom. It’s the first novel to take place post-ROTJ and the anticipation for this novel has been through the roof ever since it was announced. Unfortunately, that anticipation and hype has worked against it, and a combination of pre-conceived expectations and an eclectic writing style has left many fans disappointed. Is it really as bad as Amazon would have you believe?

What I Liked:
Wendig did a great job of giving readers a good feel for what the galaxy is like in a post-Empire setting. Occasionally Wendig places interludes set on various planets across the galaxy to give a snapshot of what things are like. While some fans weren’t thrilled with the interludes and how they broke up the main story, they actually ended up being my favorite parts of the novel. They were filled with the most interesting, and often teasing, tidbits and stories. In particular, the moment with Han and Chewie was a lot of fun. Wendig did a great job nailing the characterizations and it left me wishing that the novel was following that story instead of the main one that we were given.  Speaking of the main story, my favorite aspects were those that followed now Admiral Sloan, first introduced in A New Dawn, Sinjir Rath Velus, a former Imperial Loyalty Officer (and possibly a character from The Force Awakens?), and Mr. Bones, the homicidal battle droid reprogrammed to be a deadly bodyguard. They were all great characters with the best parts of the story surrounding them. The book itself starts slow, and all the seemingly disparate stories, along with the interludes, can be a bit confusing, but by about the half way point everything begins to gel together and the pacing of the book picks up quite a bit. From there on the book is a fairly fun read.
Update: Author Chuck Wendig confirmed on Twitter that the character of Temmin Wexely grows up to be Resistance pilot “Snap” Wexely played by Greg Grunberg in The Force Awakens.

What I Didn’t Like:
Wendig has a writing style that takes a little getting used to. Personally, it didn’t bother me, but I know a lot of other fans that just didn’t care for it. It’s very much a matter of personal taste.  As for the story itself, I, like many other fans, was disappointed that not only was the story not being headlined by the “big three,” but even Wedge ended up being pretty much a glorified cameo. The story itself wasn’t bad, and Wendig is a good writer, it just didn’t meet the expectations fans had for a novel that was touted as the first novel on the path to The Force Awakens and our first look at a post-ROTJ galaxy. Personally, I would have preferred a larger-scoped novel, or even a collection of smaller stories- longer versions of the interludes. I’ve heard that Wendig only had a short amount of time to do the novel, and I would assume that exactly what Wendig could do was hindered by the need for secrecy around the story aspects for the new movie and the “big three.” I like to call it “Agents of Shield Syndrome,” given the first season of Shield suffered in a similar fashion until Winter Soldier came out and they were able to move into the meat of their content. With all of those things being taken into consideration, Wendig didn’t do a bad job, and I look forward to seeing what he does with the following two novels post-TFA release, where he may not be as hindered.

Conclusion:
My advice to any fan is this: manage expectations. Judge the novel on it’s own merits, not against what you think it should be. If you can let go of what you wanted and instead take the novel for what it is, I think you’ll enjoy it.

Buy, Rent, Or Pass: Buy if you’re a hardcore fan. Rent if you’re a casual fan or just want to skim over it for the highlights. While this novel won’t be everybody’s cup of tea, there is enough great moments and very interesting tidbits of information/teases that make this something that all hardcore fans should check out.

Who Will Like It: Hardcore fans, fans of Chuck Wendig’s other novels.

Lost-Stars_DBG1

I’ll be honest, when I first heard about Lost Stars my initial reaction was: pass!  A YA novel touted as a Star Wars Romeo and Juliet? No, thank you. Then Kristian Harloff raved about how great it was and I decided to give it a shot. I have never been so glad to have been so wrong. Lost Stars is my favorite of the new canon novels and it is a book that everyone can enjoy.

What I Liked:
Thane Kyrell and Ciena Ree are real people…at least Claudia Gray writes them as though they are. I know that’s the goal of any author, but Claudia Gray does it so well that I found myself drawn into their story and not wanting to put the book down. The story of Lost Stars begins roughly a decade before ANH and runs through ROTJ, ending with the Battle of Jakku (the battle where that Star Destroyer crash in the trailer happens). Miss Gray does a masterful job of weaving  Thane and Ciena’s tales with those of the movies, and involving them in such a way that is believable as opposed to turning it into an eye-rolling Star Wars Forrest Gump. In the end, you’ll see the familiar stories of the Original Trilogy in a new light and have a deeper appreciation for them. Lost Stars is a spiritual successor to the “Legends” X-Wing series by Mike Stackpole and Aaron Allston, following the two ace pilots as they join the Imperial Starfleet Academy and rise through the ranks, until eventually one becomes disillusioned with the Empire and joins the Rebellion. Thane in particular reminds me of Corran Horn (my favorite EU character), but not in a way where it feels like a rip-off. He’s just a really great character, as is Ciena, and I found myself at the end of the novel hoping fervently that we’ll get at least a sequel, if not an entire series, following these two. As for the romance aspect- don’t let the “YA” fool you. This isn’t Star Wars Twilight. The evolution of their relationship is natural and well written. At no point does it feel heavy handed or like you’re reading one of your mother’s romance novels.

What I Didn’t Like:
The novel ended with an obvious set up for a sequel, and now I have to wait for it!

Conclusion:
Ignore the fact that this novel is technically YA and has been promoted as a romance- this is Star Wars at it’s best and can be read and enjoyed by any fan.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy!

Who Will Like It: Star Wars fans new and old, fans of the X-Wing series of novels by Mike Stackpole and Aaron Allston.

Battlefront_Twilight_Company_cover

Battlefront: Twilight Company is obviously meant to be a tie-in to the new video game of the same name, but what Alexander Freed has actually done is given fans a war story told from the point of view of the grunts on the ground set in that galaxy far, far away that we all love. Most of the novel takes place around the time of The Empire Strikes Back and centers around Twilight Company, the Sixty First Mobile Infantry that’s sent in to do the difficult missions others can’t in the heart of enemy territory.

What I Liked:

It’d be easy to write this one off as a money grab, given it’s a tie in to a video game and those tend to be about as good as video game movies are. i was pleasantly surprised with this one, because it’s actually one of the best written novels we’ve gotten so far in the new canon. Freed manages to deliver a legit war story that reads as serious and brutal as such things should be, while at the same time managing to still feel like Star Wars. The characters are great. The story is solid. This one is a win all around.

What I Didn’t Like:

The serious and heavy nature of the content made this one a slow read for me. That’s not a knock on the quality of the storytelling at all. It’s just a heavy book with a heavy subject matter right around the crazy timing of the holidays, so this wasn’t one I could just fly through in a day or two. That’s more of a personal problem as opposed to a criticism of the book itself.

Conclusion: 

Battlefront: Twilight Company is a solid read and gives fans a perspective that we’ve not really gotten from a Star Wars novel before. The gritty subject matter and heavy tone might not be everyone’s cup of tea, however.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy

Who Will Like It:  Fans looking for a more serious war story, fans looking forward to Rogue One, fans of war movies like Black Hawk Down.

TFA

Alan Dean Foster, the author that ghost wrote the original Star Wars novelization and the first ever expanded universe novel, Splinter of the Mind’s Eye, returns to Star Wars over thirty years later to pen the novelization for the new blockbuster movie. (He even begins the novel with a quote from the Journal of the Whills. *Fanboy squee!*) Given the fact that The Force Awakens has become the largest grossing domestic movie of all time and has broken just about every box office record there is, chances are you’ve probably seen the movie by now. If you haven’t, why the hell not? So, if you already know the story should you bother to read the novel? Yes, yes you should.

What I Liked: 

Alan Dean Foster is a well respected and accomplished author, and as such he’s managed to take the script from the film and weave a wonderful novel from it that gives fans a look inside the characters heads, revealing a more in depth look at motivations and feelings that are just impossible to do on screen. It also gives fans additional information and scenes that they just didn’t have time to put in the movie. The novel fills in a lot of the gaps that many fans felt were missing from the movie, such as a better understanding of the 30 years post-Return of the Jedi political climate. Who is the New Republic? What happened to the Empire and how did they become the First Order? Why is Leia running a resistance? Who was that old guy at the beginning and why did he have a piece of the map? What happened to Poe on Jakku? All of these questions, often glossed over in the movie for the sake of pacing, are answered in much greater detail here. We get a much better look at Han and Leia’s relationship, what went wrong, and why Han ran. We gain a deeper understanding of the internal struggle Kylo Ren is experiencing throughout the story.  We also get a few more clues as to who Rey is and why she can do the things she can do. Basically, if you loved the movie but found yourself not quite getting as much information as you wanted, this is the book (or audiobook) for you.

What I Didn’t Like:

Novelizations, canonically speaking, are tricky things. The novel is often written based on a script, and generally there are things in that script that either don’t make it into the movie at all, or may end up looking or sounding different in the final product. Thankfully this novelization doesn’t contain anything that contradicts what we see on screen. Some dialogue is different, in that the conversations may contain more lines, but the meaning and intent of the dialogue remains the same. Pablo Hidalgo, the grand high poo-bah of Star Wars canon from the Story Group, has officially said that any additional information or scenes in the novel are official canon, but the actual dialogue of the movies supersedes any differences in the book. Basically, what you saw on screen is what happened, but if you run across new scenes in the book that didn’t make it into the movie, those things “happened” too. Like I said, it can be a little confusing. Luckily, there’s not a whole lot that fans need to worry about here.

Conclusion:

Foster delivers a well written novelization that any fan of the movie should check out, if only for the additional background information that may help to clarify the political context of the movie.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Definite Buy

Who Will Like It: Fans of the movie who want to know more, or who just want to relive the movie again as they wait for the BluRay release.

 

Novellas:

The_Weapon_of_a_Jedi

Jason Fry writes one of four novellas released as part of the “Journey to the Force Awakens” set between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, with bookends set during The Force Awakens. C3PO tells a tale of Luke Skywalker finding a lost Jedi temple and learning more about the Force after his fighter is damaged and he is forced to land for repairs.

What I Liked:

This is a fun little story featuring Luke as he struggles to learn about the Force and the Jedi without a master. It serves to fill in some blanks between the movies and it’s entertaining for what it is.

What I Didn’t Like:

The story is pretty basic. There’s nothing here that fans just *have* to know.

Conclusion:

Weapon of a Jedi was an entertaining, if not short, read. The story isn’t anything major or need to know, but it does serve to fill in some gaps of what went on in Luke’s life between the movies and his struggle to live up to the legacy of being the last Jedi without a master.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy or Rent.  It’s nothing that fans just *have* to own, but for me it was worth the money.

Who Will Like It: Luke fans & younger readers.

 

JOURNEY TO STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS: SMUGGLER'S RUN: A HAN SOLO ADVENTURE.By Greg Rucka.Illustrated by Phil Noto.Disney LucasFilm Press.On sale: September, 4, 2015.Price: $12.99 US/$13.99 CAN.ISBN: 978-1-4847-2495-8/eBook: 978-1-4847-2499-6.Ages: 10 – 14.Available: Wherever books and eBooks are sold.Short Description: In this story, set between Star Wars: A New Hope and Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Han and Chewie must fly the Millennium Falcon on a top-secret mission for the Rebellion, while evading ruthless bounty hunters and a relentless imperial agent..Long Description: It is a period of civil war. The heroic freedom fighters of the REBEL ALLIANCE have won their most important victory thus far with the destruction of the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR. But the Rebellion has no time to savor its victory. The evil Galactic Empire has recognized the threat the rebels pose, and is now searching the galaxy for any and all information that will lead to the final destruction of the freedom fighters. For the MILLENNIUM FALCON’s crew, who saved the life of Luke Skywalker during the Battle of Yavin, their involvement with the rebels is at an end. Now HAN SOLO and CHEWBACCA hope to take their reward and settle some old debts…

Novella written by comic writer Greg Rucka that tells a tale of Han and Chewie getting roped into rescuing a rebel spy.

What I Liked:

Greg Rucka “gets” Star Wars. From beginning to end this fun little story felt like watching a Star Wars movie. Rucka’s “voice” for Han was perfect.

What I Didn’t Like:

This is a novella and not a full novel. I wanted more!

Conclusion: 

This was a really fun Han & Chewie story and a must read for fans.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy!

Who Will Like It: Any Star Wars fan. Perfect for younger readers.

 

star-wars-moving-target

General Leia Organa tells a tale of the hard choices and sacrifices that leaders must make in a time of war.

What I Liked: 

The general idea behind the story was interesting, as was the look at Leia and her headspace during the time of the Force Awakens.

What I Didn’t Like:

This was my least favorite of the four novellas. Pacing-wise it was a bit slow and the most interesting thing about it was the book ends of General Leia.

Conclusion:

The book ends were really interesting while the core story was just okay.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Rent. It’s worth the (quick) read as a fan, but it’s not something that you’ll likely re-read or needs to be owned unless you’re just a completionist (like me).

Who Will Like It: Fans of Leia that want more stories from her point of view.

 

before the awakening

A collection of three short stories by Greg Rucka that follows Poe, Rey, and Finn in the months, days, and hours before the events of The Force Awakens.

What I Liked:

Like I said above, Greg Rucka just “gets” Star Wars. Each short story gives fans a glimpse into the lives and history of our three new heroes.  The backstory and characterization on display here leads perfectly into The Force Awakens.

What I Didn’t Like:

Again, the fact that this wasn’t a full novel. I really love how Rucka writes Star Wars and this was, by far, my favorite of these little novellas.

Conclusion:

Greg Rucka introduces us to the three new protagonists for the new trilogy in a way that sets the stage perfectly for The Force Awakens, and gives fans fun tidbits of information that may answer some questions about our new heroes. How did Finn know how to use a lightsaber, and was there more to his defection than just what we saw in the movie? How did Rey learn to fly? How did Poe join the Resistance?

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy it!

Who Will Like It: Any Star Wars Fan. Anyone wanting to know more backstory for our new heroes. Perfect for younger readers.

 

Short Stories (Quick Reviews):

d45d36f2d9e86eaf9e06253234381516

Tales From the Galaxy Far, Far, Away: Aliens  is 4 short stories written by Landry Q. Walker, each with a different genre theme, and each focusing on a background character seen in The Force Awakens.  You have a western, a tall tale, a pirate tale, and a “horror” story.

What I Liked:

They were cheap, relatively fun reads. It was fun to get a different genre with each story, but all set in the Star Wars galaxy.

What I Didn’t Like:

The stories were kind of hit or miss, quality-wise. While I enjoyed all four, the western and the “horror” stories were definitely the most entertaining.

Conclusion: 

4 short stories. Four different genres. A fun way to kill an hour or two.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: For the price, you might as well buy.

Who Will Like It: Star Wars fans with an hour or two to kill.

3-Perfect-Weapon-300x456

That weird looking lady that sold out Han, Finn, and Rey at Maz Kanata’s Castle gets her own short story.

What I Liked:

It was generally well written, and the McGuffin she acquires might be something central to the new movie? Maybe? We never find out for sure.

What I Didn’t Like:

The story itself was just “meh”. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t love it.

Conclusion:

If you have half an hour or so to kill and have nothing else to read, here you go.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Rent, if you can.

Who Will Like It: Bored fans looking for something to do.

 

Comics:

maul

Darth Maul: Son of Dathomir continues the story of Maul from The Clone Wars TV show, adapted from unused scripts when the series was cancelled.

What I Liked:

We find out what happened to Maul after the cliffhanger at the end of season 5. The story feels like episodes of The Clone Wars and they were entertaining to read.

What I Didn’t Like:

The ending was open ended, so we never get any closure for the character and his story. That’s a good thing if it means we’ll find out what happened to him later down the line. It’s a bad thing in that it feels incomplete, because it was obviously a story arc setting up another story arc for later in the series.

Conclusion:

This is the last Star Wars comic to come from Dark Horse before the license moved to Marvel, and it is currently the only Dark Horse title to remain “canon”. It was a very entertaining read, and any fan of the Clone Wars TV series should check it out.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy

Who Will Like It: Fans of the Clone Wars TV series.

star wars

Set between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, Jason Aaron brings us further adventures from our favorite original trilogy characters and fills in the gaps between the movies.

What I Like:

While there’ve been one or two stumbles along the way, for the most part Jason Aaron has delivered a really entertaining title that further fleshes out our favorite characters and fills in the gaps between when we see them at the end of the first movie and the beginning of Empire. My favorite aspect of the series so far has been following Luke as he struggles to learn more about the Force, the Jedi, and just what he’s supposed to be doing with his life without a master to train him. The series does a great job of telling some really great adventures that adds to the mythology of the series as a whole without contradicting or taking away from what we’ve seen in the movies. The art has been really great overall and ranks up there with the best of Dark Horses previous high bar. I also like that this series gels great with the Darth Vader comics, even culminating in a crossover recently that was just fun as hell.

What I Don’t Like:

Not a lot to say here. There’s some cheesy moments every once in a while, and some story points that are obvious gimmicks, predictable, and don’t quite work, but those are few.

Conclusion:

Star Wars has been an excellently written and drawn comic that has been a must buy for me from day one.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy!

Who Will Like It: Any Star Wars fan looking to break into the world of comics.

 

vader

This series goes hand in hand with Star Wars, and they even cross over from time to time. We follow Darth Vader in the wake of his failure to protect the Death Star. He’s obsessed with finding the young pilot who was so strong in the Force, all the while dodging the machinations of the Emperor and the potential replacements he’s pitted against his apprentice to test him.

What I Like:

For the most part this series has been every bit as excellent and entertaining as Star Wars. The crossovers between the two titles feel organic, not forced, and are very complimentary. Some of the new characters we’re introduced to appear to be rather goofy at first, but quickly become insanely fun to read. The art has been solid throughout the series thus far.

What I Don’t Like:

There have been times that the story-line hasn’t been as interesting as others, and you find yourself wishing they’d move along and get back to something fun.  It’s only happened for a few issues here and there.

Conclusion:

Darth Vader is an excellent title in it’s own right, but it works really well as a companion to Star Wars. While there have been a few story bumps along the way, overall the title is very entertaining.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy

Who Will Like It: Vader fans, fans of the Empire, fans already reading Star Wars.

kanan

Written by one of the original creators of Rebels, Greg Weisman, Kanan: The Last Padawan delves into the backstory of the fan favorite character and tells the tale of how he went from Jedi padawan to rogue.

What I Like:

This is just great. The art, the writing, everything is just quality through and through. The story Weisman weaves is interesting in it’s own right, and it really helps to add additional characterization to the Rogue Jedi that we’ve come to know and love on the show. It also helps to add just that much more weight when you watch the show and see Kanan struggle with his past and his feelings, particularly with things that have happened in the most recent episodes.

What I Don’t Like:

I don’t like that this title is a limited run, because it’s one of my favorites.

Conclusion:

Any fan of the Rebels TV show should pick this title up. You won’t be disappointed.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy!

Who Will Like It: Fans of Rebels.

lando

I really wasn’t sure about this limited run story when it was first announced. It follows pre-Cloud City Lando and Lobot as they form their own Oceans Eleven-style crew to steal a luxury ship that’ll make them all rich. Wat they don’t know is that the ship they’ve stolen is the Emperor’s personal transport. Hijinks ensue.

What I Liked:

This ended up to be a really entertaining read. Lando is incredibly well written and you hear Billy Dee in your head as you read the dialogue. The story itself is limited to 5 issues, so it’s not a huge investment of time or money, and you definitely get a return on your investment. The art is gorgeously done and is a departure from the styles used in the other series.

What I Didn’t Like:

I would have preferred a longer story, with time to go into more detail about certain aspects pertaining to Sith lore introduced here.

Conclusion:

A fun, entertaining story following everyone’s favorite scoundrel. A must buy for any fan.

Buy, Rent, Pass: Buy

Who Will Like It: Fans of Lando & fans of heist stories.

leia

I’m a huge fan of writer Mark Waid, so I was really interested to see what he’d do with a Leia comic. Unfortunately, this was not his greatest work. Set just after ANH, Leia sets out to find a new world for the few surviving Alderaanians in the wake of her planet’s destruction.

What I Like:

The art is pretty…

What I Don’t Like:

Just about everything else. Waid is a great writer, but this story just didn’t interest me. At all. I honestly didn’t make it past the first few issues.

Conclusion:

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Pass. There’s better Star Wars limited runs to spend your money on, like Lando.

Who Will Like It: Leia fans who just HAVE to have more. I guess.

 

chewie

Why this got grenlit, I have no idea. Hey, lets make a comic focused on a character that doesn’t speak! Let’s get the guy that writes Deadpool (horribly) to write it! *Rolls Eyes*

What I Liked:

Not a thing. This is incredibly boring.

What I Didn’t Like:

That this thing got made in the first place.

Conclusion:

*waves hand* This is not the comic you’re looking for.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Pass

Who Will Like It: Masochists?

shattered empire

Jiggity jig! More of Greg Rucka writing Star Wars! Set immediately after Return of the Jedi, we get our first look at a post OT Star Wars universe. Each issue follows Poe Dameron’s parents as they help Han, Leia, and Luke on various missions in the wake of the destruction of the second Death Star.

What I Liked:

Greg Rucka, ladies and gentleman! He needs to write more Star Wars. Comics, novels, I don’t care. Each issue is a different mission with one of the original trilogy heroes post-ROTJ, and it mostly follows  Poe Dameron’s mom, an ace A-Wing pilot ready to retire from service and settle down with her family. Each issue is entertaining and gives fans a great, if not brief, look at what happened to our heroes after the ewok celebration.  The art is beautifully done, and each tale is entertaining to read.

What I Didn’t Like:

The plot for Luke’s adventure could have been better. It was still fun as hell to read, but the McGuffin was kind of weak.

Conclusion:

Fans clamoring to know more about the post-ROTJ universe that were disappointed by Aftermath, this is the comic you’re looking for! This is a perfect starting point for fans who are looking to dip their toe into the comics world without a lot of commitment.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy

Who Will Like It: Any Star Wars fan.

vader down

Vader Down is a crossover event between Star Wars and Vader that starts with it’s own self-titled #1, where Vader, in persuit of Luke Skywalker, is shot down and crashes on a planet full of Rebels. But who’s the hunter and who’s really the hunted?

What I Liked:

This story is the culmination of several story-lines across Star Wars and Vader coming to a head. Here we see a post-ANH Vader being a complete badass just like he is in Rebels and Lords of the Sith. This series is nothing but fun from start to finish and I can’t wait to see what comes next.

What I Didn’t Like:

Being a crossover between two other titles may make it more difficult for fans who aren’t following both already. This may be something that fans who aren’t following the comics regularly may want to pick up as a trade later down the line.

Conclusion:

A great crossover event that sets both Star Wars and Vader up for their next respective stories. This is Vader at his most badass.

Buy, Rent, or Pass: Buy, but fans who aren’t already following Star Wars and Vader may want to wait for the trade.

Who Will Like It: Vader fans. Fans of the current comics.

 

 

 

 

J.R. Broadwater is the author of the non-fiction book Down with the Thickness: Viewing the World From a Fat Guy’s Perspective, the sci-fi detective novel You Only Die Twice, the urban fantasy novels The Chosen: Rebirthing Part 1 & 2, and the superhero tale Just Super, all available now in digital and paperback formats. Sample chapters and more information about these books can be found here. Kindle editions are all available for $0.99.

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